Hey Kid
by Bodge
Summary: Originally a oneshot for the prompt "Rachel's fathers tear up the contract and Shelby raises Rachel from birth", now an ongoing fic.
1. Chapter 1

This started off as a oneshot for the prompt "Rachel's fathers tear up the contract and Shelby raises Rachel from birth" but as I wrote this, I sort of fell in love with the AU, so I might write more oneshots set in the same AU in the future if that's something you're interested in reading!

Title and lyrics in italics from 'Hey Kid' from the musical 'If/Then'.

* * *

Shelby sighed, resting her heels on the edge of the chair, wrapping her arms around her legs as she tried to fight back tears. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. She'd been 18 when she'd answered an ad in the local paper, two gay men looking for a surrogate to carry a baby for them. They'd offered their home for the duration of the pregnancy and then enough money that Shelby would be able to move to New York and live comfortably for a while as she chased her dreams.

It hadn't gone to plan though. Despite a healthy, textbook, pregnancy, she'd gone into labour almost ten and a half weeks early. Nothing the doctors had tried had stopped her contractions and now here she was, sat beside an incubator in the NICU watching her daughter sleep, a letter in her bag from the men telling her they'd voided the contract giving them full parental rights, the contract in which Shelby had said she'd stay away from the family until the baby she handed over turned 18. Instead they'd signed all parental rights over to Shelby, promising her they'd still give her the money for the surrogacy as they explained that a sick baby wasn't what they wanted.

So here she was. 19 years old, her body aching in places she hadn't known existed until her daughter's sudden appearance, with a child she loved, but wasn't sure she could take care of.

The barely 3lb infant was the smallest thing Shelby had ever seen, her limbs so tiny that Shelby was sure they'd snap every time one of the nurses moved her. She laid in the incubator almost hidden by tubes, wires and machines, tiny goggles over her eyes as a bright UV light shone down on her body to try and help her jaundice. She was so tiny but she'd already been through so much and Shelby couldn't help but blame herself. She was meant to keep her safe, she was meant to protect her but she'd let her down, she'd let her down before she was born, yet somehow she was expected to be able to raise this tiny little human.

"Why don't you talk to her?" Shelby was startled from her thoughts by one of the nurses, "hold her hand, she'll recognise your voice."

"I, I don't…" Shelby stuttered as the nurse opened one of the small windows on the incubator, "what if I hurt her?"

"You won't" the nurse reassured her, "she might be tiny but she's tough. Let her know she's not on her own."

Shelby nervously reached into the incubator, gently stroking the baby's arm before placing her index finger in the baby's outstretched palm, "oh" she whispered, unable to stop her tears as her daughter's tiny fingers curled around her own, "hey kid" she whispered, "you probably already know this but I'm your Mom." She let her head fall against the clear plastic, "I know you're probably scared, and you know what? So am I. This isn't how it was meant to be. I wasn't meant to be the one raising you, but I'm here baby, and I'm not going anywhere. Whatever happens we'll face it together okay? It's you and me against the world from now on kid."

Shelby barely left her daughter's side for the next month, her daughter fighting through one illness and infection after another, Shelby constantly surprised by the girl's resilience, every time Shelby thought the baby was beaten, that her tiny body had taken more than it could handle, she'd bounce back, proving time and time again that she was tough, she was a fighter.

In the brief moments she did spend away from the hospital, Shelby began to plan for her future, using the substantial amount money she'd got from the Berry men, more than in the original agreement, to buy a 2 bedroom house in the suburbs, spending her days by her daughter's side and her nights decorating the house and putting together furniture in preparation for the day she'd get to bring her little bundle of joy home.

"She's making good progress "the doctor told Shelby, "I think your milk's really helping her" the baby was still too weak to be breast or bottle fed, but she was no longer fed through an iv line, instead she was now fed Shelby's expressed breast milk through a tube that ran through her nose and into her stomach, "we'd like to try something though, if it's okay with you."

"Of course." As reluctant as she had been to bond with the baby at first, Shelby now knew she'd do anything for her.

"We're about to give her a feed, we thought you might like to hold her as we do, she might try to suckle a little, and if she does, that's great, but if not then that's fine too, we want to work up to her being able to feed properly."

Shelby nodded, "I'd love that" she said, slipping off her top at the doctor's request, tears forming in her eyes as the nurse lifted the baby from the incubator, "hey kid" she whispered as the baby was laid on her chest, the nurse arranging the tubes and wires to make sure Shelby and the baby were comfortable.

"How's that?" the doctor asked as Shelby wrapped a blanket around herself to keep the baby warm.

"It's amazing" Shelby couldn't keep her gaze off the baby on her chest, "she's perfect."

The doctor smiled, "try letting her feed a little if you're comfortable, she probably won't take anything but it's good to get her used to the idea."

Shelby nodded and adjusted her nursing bra before carefully moving the baby closer to her breast, "oh" she whispered at the feeling of the infant beginning to suckle gently, "you certainly know what you want don't you baby?"

The doctor smiled once he was sure the baby was settled, "I'll get the nurses to keep an eye on her, but if all her obs stay stable then I see no reason why she can't have a nice long cuddle."

Shelby thanked the doctor before turning her attention back to her daughter, like the doctor had warned, she hadn't fed for long at all, and was now laid with her head on Shelby's left breast, gazing up at her Momma, "I've waited for this for so long" she whispered, stroking the baby's cheek, shedding a tear when a tiny hand forced itself out from under the blanket to grip onto Shelby's finger, "you need a name don't you?" Shelby asked softly, "you can't be Baby Girl Corcoran for the rest of your life." She looked down, wanting to sob as she saw the big brown eyes gazing up at her as if she understood every word. "Oh, aren't you the most perfect little thing kid?" Shelby was lost in her daughter's eyes. She'd been waiting for this moment for so long, the mask that had covered her baby's face for so long now replaced by a clear tube under her nose, her dark hair poking out from under her pink hat, "I like Rachel" she said quietly, "what do you think?" She chuckled quietly as the baby stretched and yawned before settling back with her hand on her Momma's finger, "I'm going to take that as a yes."

Shelby spoke to her daughter for a while until the girl dozed off, not able to stay awake for long. Once Rachel's eyes fluttered shut Shelby switched to humming quietly as she gently rubbed her back, wanting to make the most of the time she had holding her baby.

She was relaxed back in the chair, still humming softly to her daughter when the nurse came over, "how's she doing?"

"She's okay I think" Shelby smiled, "she tried to feed for a little but then she fell asleep."

"She seems content" the nurse smiled as she checked the monitors that Rachel was still attached to, noting down the readings in the folder at the bottom of the incubator. "And this is the steadiest her heart rate's been since she was born, her resps are really good too."

"Really?" Shelby was surprised.

"Really" the nurse nodded, "and she's holding her temperature well, being held like that is really good for preemies, your body heat, your smell, your own breathing, it will all help her body regulate itself, and now your little one's more stable we'll make sure you get to hold her as often as possible."

Shelby nodded, gently running her hand down her daughter's back, "Rachel" she said softly, "her name's Rachel."

The nurse smiled, "that's a beautiful name" she closed Rachel's notes, crossing out the words, 'baby girl' and writing 'Rachel' in their place before putting the folder back, "I'll let everyone know."

"Hear that kid?" Shelby whispered, her attention focused on her daughter once the nurse left, "you're doing great, so you just keep doing what you're doing." She mused for a minute, "it might take me a while" she said softly, "to get used to calling you Rachel. I wanted to give you a name, right from the moment you were born I wanted to name you. But I couldn't. Naming you made this all so real, it made you real, and I, I couldn't name you, I couldn't cement that bond with you knowing you might not get to come home with me." She took a breath, looking down at the baby sleeping against her, a tiny hand splayed out against her breast, "I wasn't meant to be here, I was meant to carry you and then give you to two men who promised they'd give you everything they needed. But then you were born and they, well, I don't think they could cope with how wonderful you are kid. But they knew I loved you, and I do, I love you so, so much, so they told me I could keep you. And I'll be honest kid, that absolutely terrified me, but I wouldn't have you anywhere but here. This might not be what I planned, but when you're home, when we're settled, I can go back to school, maybe I could be a teacher or something. I might not make it to New York, I might never play the lead on a Broadway stage, but I get to be your Momma for the rest of my life, and, well, that's a pretty big role right?"

She smiled as she felt movement against her breast, watching as Rachel's eyes fluttered open, "hey beautiful" she cooed, "oh, you're a determined little thing aren't you" she asked as she saw the baby gently suckle against the skin of her breast, gently moving her and allowing her to latch on. She wasn't sure if the baby was feeding, didn't think she was strong enough to get any milk, but she was content, and if this was how she found comfort, Shelby was more than happy to provide that.

"Oh" Shelby whispered, surprised by her own tears as she saw a small drop of milk roll down Rachel's cheek, "look at you."

"Is everything okay?" the nurse came over, seeing Shelby's tears.

"I didn't think she was strong enough" Shelby whispered, "I thought she was maybe just doing it for comfort but…" she gestured to the drop of milk. "I didn't think I'd get this emotional about a tiny bit of milk" she whispered.

The nurse smiled and gently squeezed Shelby's shoulder, "it's a big deal, it's a big step for her, and it's great that she's managed it the first time she's tried" she said, reaching for a box of tissues, allowing Shelby to dab at her eyes, "do you remember we showed you how to hand express a little in the early days?" Shelby nodded, "give it a go, get a little milk on your breast, it'll help her learn that's where her food is going to come from, but even if she is just nursing for comfort, that's great too, she'll get the hang of it eventually."

Shelby nodded, "thank you" she nodded, taking the woman's advice, "shh" she whispered as Rachel began to fuss at being moved, "just give me a minute" she cooed, humming gently as she gently massaged her breast until a little milk appeared before moving Rachel back to her previous position, "is that good?" she asked softly, "it'll get easier" she promised, "as you get bigger and stronger we'll get better at this."

Rachel began to fuss when she was placed back in her incubator a while later, the nurse promising that Shelby would be able to hold her again later that evening.

She moved her chair back over to sit right by the incubator once Rachel was settled, the baby still grizzly after being moved from her Momma's chest. "Hey" Shelby said softly, curling her knees up to her chest as she reached her hand into the incubator, resting her palm on Rachel's bare stomach, "I'm still here kid, I've not gone anywhere, I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me now" she promised, Rachel settling at the warmth and the weight of Shelby's hand against her stomach, tiny fingers, as always, curling around Shelby's index finger, almost as if she wanted to be sure Shelby wasn't going to leave her.

"Hey" Shelby cooed, she thought Rachel had fallen asleep, but the baby beginning to fuss again told her otherwise, "what's wrong kid" she asked softly, gently rubbing circles on Rachel's stomach, Rachel still clinging to her index finger, and humming softly to the baby before beginning to sing quietly to her, "_and I realise in an instant that I've known you all along, that I've wanted you forever, that I'll never do you wrong. And whatever this world comes to, and whatever comes our way I will watch you and protect you, I promise kid, we'll be okay_." She was surprised at how quickly the baby settled when she began singing, "I know" Shelby whispered, "I want to hold you again too, but you need to get some rest, we can snuggle again later, I promise."

The time Shelby got to spend holding her daughter gradually increased over the next few weeks, and Shelby was over the moon when she was told Rachel was being moved from the NICU, that she no longer needed the high level of care she'd been getting so she was being moved to another ward where she could concentrate on feeding and growing.

Rachel's open crib in the nursery meant that Shelby could spend as much time as she wanted cradling Rachel, the nurses even helping her find a baby wrap that would support Rachel and hold her close, whilst still giving Shelby her hands free to do other things, even though more often than not, she simply found herself stroking Rachel's back, and to say that she'd struggled to talk to the baby when she was first born, now, Shelby found herself chatting away none stop, the infant looking up at her intently as if she understood every word Shelby was telling her as she promised her the world, told her about all the things they'd do when she was older, how she'd never leave her, promising her that, whatever the future held, they'd face it together.

It was almost two weeks after her due date that the day came. A day that, at one time, Shelby didn't think would ever happen, the day she left the hospital for the night knowing that she wouldn't be going back the next morning, because Rachel was leaving with her. She'd spent almost 90 minutes strapped into her car seat earlier that week as her heart rate and breathing were monitored to make sure that she could cope with the journey home, although Shelby wasn't sure why it had to be 90 minutes when she could be home from the hospital in 20. She was also grateful that Rachel slept through the test, the infant becoming increasingly vocal about her displeasure when she was laid anywhere but Shelby's chest, but it didn't matter now, she'd passed the test and been discharged. Rachel was going home.

Shelby carried the car seat into the house, pulling off the blanket that was wrapped around the infant and lifting her into her arms, rocking her gently as she stirred, "welcome home kid" she kissed Rachel's head, "this is it now, me and you kid, us against the world. Always."


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! I'm so glad that you all seem to love this little AU just as much as I do, I've had a couple of messages and reviews asking for specific things set in this AU, and so far, everything that's been requested has been something I already planned on having happen! With that in mind, if there's anything you want to see happen in this AU then feel free to let me know, either in a review or via PM, I'm always happy to take suggestions!

This is for the guest who reviewed asking if Shelby's family will be in the picture, I may revisit that question in the future but I hiow this will do for now!

* * *

It was three days after Rachel was discharged from the hospital when Shelby decided she should probably let her parents know they had a granddaughter. She'd been putting it off since Rachel had been born, knowing exactly how her mother would react and not wanting her to show up at the hospital and cause a scene, but at the same time, she knew she needed to let the woman know she wouldn't be going home for Christmas.

She kissed Rachel's head as she picked up her phone and dialed her Mom's number, the baby sleeping in the fabric against her chest, both of them naked under the wrap except for Shelby's nursing bra and Rachel's diaper, Shelby wearing an oversized hoodie to keep them both warm.

"Finally" Shelby could almost hear the roll in her Mom's eyes as she answered the call, "you've been ignoring my calls Shelby. Would it kill you to pick up once in a while?"

Shelby sighed, "I've been busy Mom, and I don't have much time now, I was just calling to let you know I won't be coming round for Christmas."

"Don't be stupid Shelby, of course you'll be coming round."

"No Mom. I won't." Shelby said firmly.

"And may I ask why you're abandoning your family at Christmastime?"

Shelby rolled her eyes at her Mom's dramatics. "I'm not abandoning anyone Mom. I erm, I've had a baby, we're going to spend Christmas here, she…"

"Absolutely not" Shelby was interrupted, "you've had a baby? Then you absolutely have to come. I can't believe you never mentioned it though, you're nineteen Shelby, you really should have been more careful, I hope the father's stepping up and…"

"There is no father Mom, it's a long story and I'm not going into it now."

"Shelby!" she'd once have been scared by the tone in her Mom's voice, but not anymore. "You are going to bring my grandchild to see me and…"

"No Mom, no I'm not. Rachel was premature. She's spent three months in NICU fighting for her life and I'm not going to do anything that risks her health. Not now. I've…" she ran her hand through her hair, begging herself not to cry, "I've watched her fight through illness and infection, she's been through enough, until her immune system's stronger she'll be staying here. With me."

"Shelby" her Mom wasn't used to not getting her own way but there was absolutely no way that Shelby was going to back down on this.

"Mom" Shelby's voice shook both with anger and upset as she thought about everything Rachel had been through, "you once told me that you and Dad had to make decisions I didn't like because you were my parents and you had to do what was best for me, and that wasn't always what I wanted. But now I'm a parent, and I need to do what's best for Rachel, and that might not be what you want, but she comes first, so no Mom, we won't be spending Christmas with you this year. And when Rachel is up for meeting you, I'll let you know" she said before ending the call and turning off her phone so her Mom couldn't call back. "Me and you kid" she whispered, kissing the swirl of dark hair on her daughter's crown, "we don't need anyone else."

As terrified as she'd been when she found out she was the one expected to raise the baby she'd given birth to, Shelby soon realised she loved being a Mom, loved getting to know the tiny human she'd created. Being a Mom at home was completely different to being a Mom in the hospital, and, despite having only been home a matter of days, Shelby found she'd quickly got into a routine with Rachel, and she loved just getting to be with her baby on her own terms, loved seeing Rachel's tiny little personality quirks that were beginning to emerge. She loved chatting to her baby, singing to the girl as she danced around the kitchen, Rachel tucked tightly against her chest, wanted to cry every time she glanced down and saw big dark eyes looking up at her, eyes full of love and wonder, eyes that Shelby could lose herself in for hours.

Shelby had barely worn a shirt around the house since she'd brought Rachel home, and the outfits she'd bought for her daughter went unused as Rachel was held against her Mother's chest by the stretchy wrap Shelby had bought, Shelby simply pulling on a hoodie if she felt cool, and she felt like being able to spend so long, skin to skin with her daughter, was one of the main reasons that they'd bonded so well.

After hanging up on her Mom, Shelby didn't bother to turn her phone back on again, and spent Christmas day watching festive movies with Rachel alternating between nursing and sleeping against Shelby's bare chest, the lack of visitors meaning that Shelby and Rachel were able to spend most of their time indulging in the skin contact that both Mom and baby loved so much.

There was a knock on the front door just after 10am on boxing day and Shelby frowned as she stood to answer it, "who do you think that is?" she asked Rachel, grabbing her hoodie and zipping it up to keep herself covered as she opened the door, her mood changing completely when she came face to face with, not only her parents, but her brother, sister in law and three year old nephew.

"You wouldn't come to us, so we decided to come to you. It's a good job you told Daniel your new address or we'd never have found you." Shelby's mom grinned cheerfully as she pushed past Shelby into the house, obviously proud that she'd got one over on her daughter.

Shelby growled, "you need to leave. Now!"

"Don't be stupid Shelby, we've come to see our granddaughter, now hand her over for a cuddle."

"Absolutely not" Shelby was furious, knew of it wasn't for the baby sleeping against her chest she'd be screaming and crying at her Mother's selfishness, that Rachel was the only reason she hadn't already kicked the woman out of her house. "I, I can't believe you've done this, that you'd be so selfish." She shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes, "I can't do this" she whispered as she walked into the kitchen to put some space between herself and her mother.

"Me selfish?" Shelby's mother looked around the other people in the room, "she's the one keeping my grandbaby from me and refusing to spend Christmas with her family."

Daniel, Shelby's older brother rolled his eyes at his mother's dramatic nature and shook his head when he saw the woman move to go after Shelby, "I'll go." He walked into the kitchen, finding his sister pacing angrily and closed the door, wanting to try and stop their mother listening in.

"Did you know?" Shelby span to face him when she heard the door click, frustration evident on her face.

"She said you weren't coming over yesterday because you'd had a baby, but that we could visit you on boxing day."

"I told her" Shelby began pacing again, "I told her and she, she just ignored me, she says she loves us, she said… I told her and she just doesn't listen."

"You know what she's like Shel, she never listens. But what did you tell her?"

"Rachel's 3 months old Dan. She doesn't even weigh four and a half pounds. She was 10 weeks premature, she spent 3 months in hospital, she's been home a week and I, I told her that I, that we weren't coming round because Rachel... she's still so tiny, she's been through so much Dan, I, I've watched her fight through so much, I, so many times I thought I'd never get to do this, never get to have her home with me, and I told her. I told her I wasn't coming because Rachel's immune system isn't good and the last thing I want is for her to end up back in hospital again when she's only just come home. I told her I'd let her know when we were ready but she, she can't accept that I'm trying to do what's best for my baby. I couldn't… Before, I couldn't protect her from that, I couldn't keep her safe, I couldn't stop her hurting, I couldn't stop the infections or the fact she used to forget to breathe when she was asleep, but now, now I can protect her and I don't care if it's too much, she's my baby, I'm her Mommy and I need to keep her safe Dan, I can't, I can't see her back in that hospital, I don't know if she's strong enough to fight anything else, and I know I'm definitely not strong enough to watch her try." She slumped into one of the chairs at the small table in the corner of the room and wiped at her eyes before holding her head in her hands.

"Shelby" Dan gasped, "I had no idea, I… We'll go. I don't care if I have to carry her out of this house kicking and screaming we'll all leave. You should have told me, you should…" he shook his head, that wasn't important right now, "you are absolutely right, you're a Mommy, a great Mommy, you're fierce but you're kind and if that little lady is a fighter, and it sounds like she is, she gets every ounce of that fighting spirit from you. But you can call me later, give me all the details and let me tell you what a fantastic job you're doing, but for now, I'm going to get everybody out of your house so you two can be safe and comfortable in your home."

"Thank you" Shelby whispered, wiping at her damp eyes, "I erm, I don't want anyone to hold her just yet, but would you like to see her?"

Dan smiled, "I'd love to, if that's okay?" Shelby nodded, moving the stretchy fabric and turning so her brother could see Rachel's face. "She's beautiful Shelby, congratulations. She's your double."

"She's perfect" Shelby whispered, "but she's been through so much already Dan and maybe I'm being overprotective but I just want to keep her safe."

"I understand, Jake spent two nights in the special care unit and that was tough enough, I can't imagine what you went through. You wait here, I'll get everyone to leave."

"Thank you" Shelby whispered.

"Anything for you sis, and if you need anything, you ring me yeah?" Shelby nodded again and Dan left the kitchen, feeling his own anger rising as his Mom stood up.

"Have you managed to talk some sense into her? If she's going to hide away I'm at least going to get my Grandbaby and… "

"No" Dan stood firm, stopping his Mom from making her way to the kitchen. "We're leaving" he spat, "all of us. Right now. We're leaving and we're going to respect Shelby's wishes."

"Don't be stupid Daniel, I am here to meet my Granddaughter, we are her family and she needs to bond with us."

"No Mom. She needs a safe environment to grow, she needs a family who respect her mother's wishes in regards to her upbringing."

"Daniel…"

He ignored her protests and turned to his father, "did you know?" did you know why Shelby didn't want us here? Did she tell you that that baby has only been home from hospital for a week? That at three months old she weighs half what Jake did when he was born? Did you know she's spent the past three months in the neonatal intensive care unit because she was premature? Did you know that Shelby asked us to stay away from Rachel until her immune system developed a little more because she doesn't want her daughter getting sick and ending back in the hospital because she can't fight germs like we can?"

"We won't make her sick Daniel."

Daniel looked to his wife as she stood up, the woman looking just as appalled as he felt, "We'll wait in the car for you" she said as she lifted their toddler to her hip, "tell Shelby I'm sorry, I'd never have come if I'd known, I definitely wouldn't have brought Jake!"

"She knows that" Dan nodded.

"Is this true?" Shelby's Dad looked at his wife, "did you know this?" Her silence answered for her, "we're leaving" he stood, pointing to the door, "now!"

Daniel watched as his mother stormed from the house, chances are she'd hold this against them all for a while but he didn't care, his sister and niece were more important. "They're gone. And I'm going too" Dan poked his head around the kitchen door to find Shelby still sat at the table but a little calmer now and humming gently to her daughter.

"Thanks Dan. She's not happy is she?"

"Not at all, but do you care?"

"No" Shelby laughed, "thank you though, I do appreciate it."

Dan shook his head, "you shouldn't have had to go through that. You just take care of yourself and that precious little one and let me know when you're ready for visitors, I'll leave Katie and Jake at home if you'd rather. And if you need anything…"

"I'll call you, thanks Dan."

"Any time." He blew a kiss towards his sister, "that's for her not you" he winked before turning to leave. He sighed when he saw his father in the living room, "Dad…"

"I'm not staying" he held up his hands in surrender, "I thought I'd be gone before you were done, your Mom's sulking in the car and I guessed Shelby would be staying out of the way until she heard us leave so I thought I'd leave the presents for her and the little one" he gestured to the pile of gifts he'd stacked by the door.

"Thanks Dad, and I'm sorry if I was abrupt earlier."

"Not at all, your Mom should never have put us in that position. I'm glad Shelby had you to fight her corner."

"She's my baby sister, only I'm allowed to make her feel like crap" he joked. before saying goodbye to his father and making his way over to his car, where his wife and son were waiting for him, safe in the knowledge that his sister and his niece were okay.

Shelby kissed Rachel's hair as she heard her door click shut behind her family, "am I being too overprotective?" she asked the sleeping baby, "I get that they're your family but you're still so tiny kid, and you've been so ill. Maybe it wouldn't have just been so bad if my Mom and Dad had shown up alone but to bring your Aunt, Uncle and Cousin too" she sighed, "I want you to get to know them, of course I do, and I don't want you to feel like I stop you doing things you want to do, but this is all so new, you're so new and I…" Shelby closed her eyes as she stroked Rachel's back, "you were so ill, you needed caffeine to help stimulate your brain so you didn't stop breathing and your lungs, they were so underdeveloped that they couldn't stay open properly. I know my Mom probably thinks nothing of having a sniffle or a cold but all I can think about is how ill that could make you" she dropped her head to rest against Rachel's. "I know she's my Mom and she's always been overbearing and likes to get her own way, but you're my baby, this isn't her call, I will do absolutely anything to keep you safe and healthy."

She stood, smiling slightly as she felt Rachel shuffle against her bare chest, the baby nuzzling against her as she began to wake, "me and you kid" she promised, kissing Rachel's knuckles as the baby reached up towards her, beginning to whine quietly, Shelby making her way over to the couch so she could feed her daughter, "we don't need anyone else."


	3. Chapter 3

A few of you said you liked Sheby's brother, so he's back for another chapter!

I've had a few messages and reviews asking if this is going to become an ongoing fic. I really want to say no. I really want to say that it's just going to be a series of oneshots giving a peek into Shelby and Rachel's lives as Rachel grows up, because I can't manage a fourth ongoing fic. But I seem to have fallen in love with this little AU, so I'm going to say maybe. I'm not going to promise any sort of regular updates with this one, I'll just continue to update as and when I have ideas, but it appears it's going to be more 'ongoing' than I originally intended it to!

That being said, let me know if you have any suggestions, or if there's anything you'd like to see happen in future updates!

* * *

It was mid February when Shelby called her brother, questioning him about his health before nervously asking him, "would you like to come and meet Rachel?"

Daniel jumped at the chance, he'd spoken to Shelby on a near weekly basis since Christmas, reminding her that he was there if she needed anything but not pushing her, letting her take as much time as she needed with her daughter.

He knocked on Shelby's door two days later with takeout for himself and his sister and a stuffed grey rabbit for his niece, not at all surprised to find the baby settled against Shelby's chest in her sling. He was however surprised when, less than five minutes after they'd finished eating, she nervously asked, "would you like to hold her?"

Daniel nodded, "only if you'd be okay with that" he told Shelby, seeing her nod before standing, "let me wash my hands first" he said, knowing what a big deal this was for his sister and wanting to do all he could to make things easier for her.

By the time he returned, Shelby had Rachel bundled in a blanket, the baby whining quietly at being moved from the comfort of her Momma's embrace. "Can I…" Daniel gestured to his own chest.

Shelby nodded, slightly nervous but trusting her brother, "yeah, if you want to."

"Hello little one" he cooed as he lifted Rachel into his arms and rocked her gently, the baby stilling at the unfamiliar voice, "I'm your Uncle" he told her as he lifted his top, laying Rachel against his chest and pulling his tshirt back down before removing the blanket, making sure Rachel's head was poking from the neck of his top, "that means your Mom is my annoying baby sister, and when you're older I'm going to tell you all her embarrassing moments, just you wait kiddo."

Shelby laughed, tearing up slightly at the sight of Rachel curled up against her brother's chest. There were five years between her and Daniel and he'd always been her protector, she'd always known that he'd keep her safe, and she didn't even need to ask, she knew he'd do the same for Rachel.

"You look exhausted" he said as he looked over at Shelby, knowing her tears were caused, at least partly, by her tiredness.

"I am" she admitted, "Rachel had a bit of a rough night last night."

"Go get some rest then" Daniel told her, "I mean it Shelby, Rachel's settled, I won't go anywhere, go get some sleep, if she wakes and I can't settle her I'll come and wake you up."

"I'd really like a shower where I'm not trying to wash my hair and keep hold of a baby that cries if I try and go anywhere without her" she admitted, frequently torn between leaving Rachel to cry whilst she took a five minute shower or taking the baby with her, trying to shower with the baby in her arms.

"Okay" Daniel nodded, "go shower then. Shower then take a nap, I mean it Shelby, Katie isn't expecting me home any time soon. Get some sleep."

"You'll wake me if you need anything."

"I promise. Now, go and sleep before I change my mind" he joked, picking up the TV remote to turn it on, indicating that he wasn't going to discuss it any further.

Shelby took a last glance at her daughter, sleeping against her brother's chest before making her way upstairs to shower and maybe take a quick nap.

For the first time since her pregnancy, Shelby took the time to condition her hair once she'd shampooed it, allowing the warm water to rain down on her tired body as she relished the feeling of being able to take her time, of not feeling guilty because she'd left her baby screaming in the next room.

She stepped from the shower a while later and reached for the towels she'd left on the rail, wrapping the smaller one around her hair before beginning to dry herself off with the larger one. As much as she hated to admit it, her brother was right, she did need to take some time to herself, just being able to take a shower in peace had relaxed her more than she'd ever have imagined it would.

Her relaxed state didn't last long as she heard a scream from downstairs that set her heart racing. She grabbed her robe and flew from the bathroom, she might still struggle to distinguish Rachel's 'hungry' cry from the cry signalling she needed a clean diaper, but that noise she recognised instantly, that was the sound of a baby who was uncomfortable, a baby feeling stressed, panicked and overwhelmed.

"She's okay" Daniel reassured Shelby, surprised that his sister had made it down the stairs without breaking her neck, "she's okay."

"No" Shelby protested, "she's not, that cry it means…"

"Look at her" Daniel said firmly, needing to focus his sister's attention, "I'm not going to stop because the pacing's helping keep her settled, but look at her Shelby, she's fine."

Shelby frowned but forced herself to focus on her daughter, the baby bundled tightly in a blanket against Daniel's chest, her head on his shoulder, pacifier in her mouth as he paced the room, bouncing Rachel lightly and 'shh'ing in her ear, and it was then that Shelby realised the TV had been turned off and the blinds closed so the room was lit only by a small side lamp, "what…" She might have been quick at getting downstairs, but as an experienced father, Daniel had been quicker in his attempts to settle his niece.

"I think Mommy might have forgotten that I've got a baby of my own" Daniel told Rachel quietly before looking up at Shelby, "Jake wasn't a preemie but he got a bit overwhelmed sometimes too, everything's so new for them so sometimes all it takes is for them to move their arm or their leg a bit further than they expected to, to startle them. A nurse in the hospital taught us this, it mimics being in the womb and comforts them."

Shelby nodded and sat down in the armchair, "it happens at night sometimes. She'll be sleeping and then suddenly she just screams" she whispered, she loved Rachel, loved her with every fibre of her being, but it was hard, she wasn't ready to raise a baby, hadn't planned this, and sometimes, at 3am when it felt like Rachel had been screaming for days, Shelby briefly wished that things had been different, that she was in New York, that her daughter was living with men who wanted her, who were prepared for her, but the thoughts were only ever fleeting, as exhausting as being a single parent to a sick infant was, Shelby wouldn't want to be Rachel anywhere but with her.

"Go and get some sleep" Daniel said softly, "we had something for Jake that helped keep him settled at night, I'll call Katie and ask her to go get one for Rachel too to see if it helps, and when you've had some rest I'll teach you to swaddle her like this too, but first you need to go and sleep Shelby, Rachel's fine."

Shelby nodded and held out her arms, trusting her brother to take good care of Rachel, "she'll be wanting a feed soon, I'll try and get her to take something now or you're just going to have to wake me up anyway."

"Okay" Daniel placed Rachel in Shelby's arms and kissed his sister's head, "let me make us both some tea" he said, wanting to give her some privacy.

Shelby reluctantly headed up to bed after she'd finished her tea, leaving Rachel sleeping in Daniel's arms, she was grateful for the opportunity to sleep, she was exhausted, had been living in a state of near constant exhaustion since Rachel's sudden appearance, but she was still wary of leaving her baby, even if she was only downstairs being loved by her Uncle. Her exhaustion won over her worry though, and Shelby fell asleep almost as soon as she'd crawled under the covers, unable to keep her eyes open a moment longer.

"Right Little One" Daniel shifted his hold on his niece as he pulled his phone into his pocket, "let me call your Auntie and ask her to get something for you and then we'll make Mommy some dinner for when she wakes up, does that sound like a plan?" he asked before frowning as he opened the refrigerator, "on second thoughts, it looks like I need to send your Auntie food shopping too don't I? What's your Momma been eating hey?"

"Dan?" Shelby frowned as she walked downstairs a while later to a quiet, tidy house and the smell of something cooking. As much as she hated to admit it, her brother had been right, she really did need sleep, she'd napped for almost two hours and was surprised at how much better she felt for it.

"She's fine" Daniel smiled, "here" he carefully lifted Rachel from under his shirt and passed her back to Shelby, "there's a lasagne in the oven for you that'll be ready in about 20 minutes and Katie brought you some food round, Rachel was asleep on the couch and I took the bags from her on the doorstep" he reassured her, "she didn't come in. You didn't have anything in so I got her to get things you can just grab quickly."

"Food shopping was on my to do list for tomorrow" Shelby said honestly.

"We'll I've saved you a job then" Daniel smiled, "and Katie picked this up too, Jake had one when he was born, it was a life saver" he said as he handed over a box.

"What is it?" Shelby asked, taking the box as Rachel nuzzled into her.

"It's a sheep, but it plays white noise and heartbeat and 'womb' sounds, and it has a sensor, so if she stirs, it'll automatically start again. As silly as it sounds, one of the nurses told us when Jake was tiny, that sometimes it can be too quiet for them at night, especially if, like Rachel, they've got used to sleeping in a hospital, that's why they get startled if they wake up. They're used to some level of noise."

"We'll give it a go tonight, thank you." Shelby smiled and kissed Rachel's head, "I hope you said thank you to Uncle Dan too kid."

"We've had a lovely long cuddle" Daniel smiled, "that's thanks enough. Is there anything else you need before I go and see my own little monster?"

Shelby shook her head, "how much do I owe you?"

"Don't worry about it Shel"

"But the food and…"

"It doesn't matter" Daniel insisted, "now, let me show you how to swaddle her to settle her and then I'll get off." He laid a blanket out on the floor and folded it into a triangle, "lay her down" he gestured to where he wanted Shelby to lay Rachel before talking her through how to bundle her up the way he'd been shown when his son was born, giving her tips and advice as he did.

"Thank you" Shelby sat back on her heels once she was sure she knew what she was doing, "not just for this" she gestured to Rachel, swaddled in a pink blanket on the floor, "for the sheep and the food and for watching her and…" she was so used to doing everything on her own that she felt a little overwhelmed by the fact her brother hadn't minded her taking a few hours off from her responsibilities.

Dan smiled and pulled Shelby into a hug and kissed her hair, the two rarely shared affection like this, but he knew that his sister needed it right now. "You're not on your own Shel, I know Rachel's your daughter" she'd told him that Rachel's dad 'wasn't in the picture' and he hadn't pushed for more, "but you're my sister and if you need anything, all you need to do is call. Katie too, she understands that you're not ready for Rachel to meet everyone yet, but if you need anything and I'm at work, call her, she won't mind Shel."

"Thank you" she wiped at the tears she'd shed.

"Nothing to thank me for" Daniel smiled, "you're doing a fantastic job raising this little one" he reached out and gently tickled Rachel's stomach, "but it's okay to need help sometimes."

"I know" Shelby whispered, "maybe you could come round again soon?" she suggested, "with Katie and Jake?"

Daniel nodded, "I think they'd like that" he told her, "you just let me know when you're ready" he told her.

Shelby had Rachel in her arms as she said goodbye to her brother, the baby beginning to stir from her nap, "are you waking up to say bye to Uncle Dan?" she asked, stroking Rachel's cheek with the back of her index finger as she saw her eyes flutter open, the baby letting out a tiny yawn, Shelby's heart swelling with love as she saw the corner of her daughter's mouth curl in a slight smile, "I know" she murmured, "I've missed you too kid."

As much as she'd enjoyed seeing her brother, being able to step away from Rachel for a few hours to rest, safe in the knowledge that Rachel was being well looked after, Shelby loved having Rachel back in her arms, she'd become so used to having her daughter against her chest that it felt almost foreign for her not to be there, "you and me against the world kid" Shelby whispered as she rocked Rachel in her arms, "but I suppose it wouldn't hurt for us to have a few other people on our side would it?"


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to everyone who's reviewed and/or messaged me about this fic, I might not be updating it as frequently as I do my others, but I really do love this AU and I'm glad that (most of) you love it just as much. That being said, if you're planning on leaving a comment just to nitpick on a stupid little thing (like an imaginary baby in a made up story being left sleeping on a couch for five minutes) either have the guts to log in so we can discuss it like adults, or find another fic to read.

A few of you asked for a chapter where Shelby's dad met Rachel, so here you go. Unless anyone has any other ideas, there'll be a time jump in the next chapter to Rachel being roughly a year old, but if there's anything you'd like to see happen between this chapter and then, feel free to let me know in a review, or send me a message!

* * *

"I feel bad" Shelby sighed down the phone, "Dad's done nothing wrong but I don't know if I can forgive Mom yet" she told Dan as she watched Rachel, the baby settled contently in the rocking swing that had been left amongst the Christmas gifts in her living room.

"Don't worry about it, Mom's not speaking to me either, I've spoken to Dad a few times since Christmas and he's been round to see Jake, but Mom's still pissed. I don't care though."

Shelby chuckled, "I, I'd be okay with Dad meeting her but I guess I worry that Mom will come too."

"Would you be comfortable meeting him somewhere else?" Dan suggested, "so that if she does turn up you and Rachel can leave."

Shelby looked at her daughter, smiling as the baby clumsily reached up, trying to grab at the mobile above her head. "Yeah, maybe."

"Call him" Daniel said softly, "offer to meet him for coffee somewhere, he'll understand that you don't want Mom there."

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "I might give him a call tomorrow."

"I'm sure he'd love to hear from you."

Daniel and Shelby spoke a little while longer before Rachel began to get unsettled, wanting her Mom's attention, and Shelby said goodbye, tickling Rachel's tummy as she lifted the baby into her arms. "What do you think?" she asked, lifting the girl up to gently rub noses with her, "shall we ring your Grandpa and ask if he wants to meet you?"

Of course Shelby's father wanted to meet his granddaughter and they arranged to meet in a quiet coffee shop within walking distance of Shelby's home, the man promising he'd be there alone.

Shelby had been on her way out of the door when Rachel had been sick on her shoulder, so she wasn't surprised that her father was waiting for her when she arrived at the coffee shop, "sorry" she apologised as she sat beside him, "she was a bit sick and we had to get changed."

"It's okay Shelby, don't worry about it, I'm just happy you let me meet you."

"I should have called you sooner" Shelby sighed, "I'm angry at Mom, not you."

"I understand" Shelby's dad nodded, "and you've got a lot on your plate, but as long as you and Rachel are doing well then that's all that matters."

Shelby looked down at Rachel, the baby not quite asleep in the sling against her chest, "would you like to hold her?" she asked, "she's on her way to falling asleep so she might complain a little when I move her."

"I don't want to disturb her…"

Shelby smiled and stroked Rachel's back before lifting her from the sling, the baby beginning to whine quietly, just as she'd predicted. "If you rock her she'll probably fall asleep quicker than if she's just laying here" she said as she pulled a blanket from her bag and wrapped it around her daughter before handing her over, "she only likes rocking forwards and backwards though, I don't know why but she gets grumpy if you rock her side to side".

"Noted" Shelby's dad laughed as he took Rachel in his arms and began to rock her, "are you going to be a stubborn thing like your Mommy hey?" he asked quietly.

"I believe that's called karma" Shelby laughed as she watched Rachel, she'd got better at understanding her daughter's cries and body language, and right now she knew her daughter was tired and probably a little unhappy at being taken from her favourite spot against her Momma's chest, but she wasn't stressed or overwhelmed and Shelby was okay with that, "do you want a drink?" she asked her Dad.

"I'd love another coffee please" he nodded, pulling some cash from his pocket and insisting Shelby took it when she told him she'd buy the drinks herself.

She smiled when she carried the drinks back to their table, watching as her dad continued to rock Rachel, gently patting her back as he did to try and settle her, "is she okay?" she asked as she put the mugs down.

"She keeps dropping off but then startling herself awake again" he said, "she's almost gone though."

Shelby nodded and reached into her bag, pulling out a small plastic box, taking a pacifier from it and passing it over to her dad, "try her with this" she said, "sometimes she wants it, sometimes she's not bothered."

Shelby's dad nodded and put the pacifier in the baby's mouth, holding it in place until she began sucking on it, "is that better?" he asked her, "is that what you wanted?" he cooed as the baby finally began to settle. "She's so beautiful Shelby, you must be so proud."

"I am" Shelby sipped at her coffee, "she's already been through so much, but every time I see her little smile I forget everything for a second. She's amazing. Hard work, but amazing."

"Are you… is her dad not…"

"He's not around" Shelby shrugged, "it's a long story and I don't really want to go into it."

"Okay" unlike his wife, Shelby's dad respected his children's boundaries. "Are you doing okay though, do you have everything you need? Are you managing with bills and things?"

"I'm managing" Shelby nodded.

"Good" the man shifted his hold on Rachel, moving her to lay against his chest with her head on his shoulder so that he could reach for his coffee, "call me if that changes though, if you need any help. I helped Dan out when Jake was born, I'll do the same for you Shelby."

"Thank you." Silence fell between the pair as they drank their coffees, Rachel sleeping peacefully against her Grandpa's chest, "I've applied to Ohio State for the fall" Shelby finally spoke, "they have on site daycare for Rachel so…"

"That's great" Shelby's dad put down his mug, "what are you going to be studying?"

"Teaching" Shelby ran her index finger around the rim of her mug, "I want to be an English teacher. I know it's not Broadway but it's… It's something that's achievable now I've got Rachel."

"I know you had big dreams Shelby" her Dad reached across the table to squeeze her hand, "but this doesn't have to be the end of it, you could just put those dreams on hold for a while and move to New York when Rachel's a little older."

Shelby shook her head, "I don't think so. Broadway's a lot of work, I'd never get to see her and after… after everything I don't want to miss anything." She couldn't bring herself to say it, her daughter had fought through so much, it had been such a long road to get here, to have her daughter home with her and Shelby didn't want to do anything that would take her away from her daughter, even her decision to go to college had been a difficult one, but one that Shelby knew would ultimately benefit her and Rachel in the long run. Rachel would benefit from being able to socialise with other children at daycare and Shelby would benefit, not only from the company of people other than her daughter, but in the long run, having a career to support herself and her daughter could only be a good thing.

"Well if you're happy teaching then I'm happy for you Shelby. And I'll support you through college, just like I supported Dan."

"You don't have to do that" Shelby's head snapped up to meet her father's gaze.

"No but I'm going to" he told her, "I supported your brother through college, I'll support you, and Rachel, too."

"But Mom…"

"It's my money" he told her, "I'll spend it how I want, and I want to support my daughter the same way I supported my son."

"Thank you".

"You don't need to thank me. And if you need anything before then, you know you just need to ask."

"Thanks Dad."

"I should be the one thanking you, for letting me see you, for letting me meet this little lady."

"I shouldn't have kept her from you."

"I understand Shelby, and it's okay, you're a Mom and you were putting your baby first, that's exactly how it should be, never apologise for looking out for your daughter." Shelby didn't have chance to reply before her Dad looked down at Rachel, "I think she knows we're talking about her" he smiled as she began to stir, "hello beautiful" he moved Rachel so he could have a better look at her. "She looks just like you did" be smiled, chuckling as Rachel frowned up at him.

"She's perfect Dad, I didn't think I could ever love someone the way I love her." She was overwhelmed sometimes, surprised by the sheer amount of love she felt for someone so tiny. She knew she didn't plan to be a mother, but even just thinking about the 'what ifs' about how there were so many times where she could have left that hospital without Rachel, made Shelby feel like someone had torn her heart from her chest. She couldn't imagine living in a world that didn't have Rachel in it.

"She is" Shelby's dad agreed, "and so are you Shelby, and from the looks of things, you're a brilliant mother. From the sounds of it this little one needs someone who'll stand up for her and what she needs, and I know she's got that in you."

"She has" Shelby looked at her daughter, "I don't know what the future's going to bring, if she'll have any lasting effects from being born so early, but whatever happens I'll do all I can to give her the best life, to make sure she can be the best person that she can be."

"I have no doubt about that" he handed Rachel to Shelby when she started to whine, "I think she's getting sick of me."

"She likes to be tucked up sometimes" Shelby slipped Rachel back into the sling, rubbing her back until she settled again, pacifier still firmly in her mouth, "she gets stressed sometimes, and overstimulated if there's too much going on, this comforts her."

"You don't need to explain yourself Shelby, not to me. She's your daughter. You do what you think is best for her."

Shelby and her dad spoke for a little while longer before the man said he should be getting home. "I'll call you" Shelby said as she stood to hug him, "so you can come and see Rachel again?"

"And you" her Dad hugged her back, careful of the baby against his daughter's chest. "I want to see you both."

"And we want to see you too" Shelby smiled.

Her dad kissed her forehead, "you're doing an amazing job Shelbel, that little lady is lucky to have you as her Mommy."

"Thank you" Shelby blushed slightly.

"I'll speak to you soon" he promised as they walked out of the coffee shop, "but if you need anything…"

"I'll call you" Shelby kissed his cheek, "I love you Dad."

"I love you too Shel, Rachel too" he smiled, giving his daughter a final hug before leaving for home.

Shelby stood outside the coffee shop for a moment, part of her wanted to get Rachel home as soon as possible, but there was another part of her telling her that the baby was settled, that she couldn't spend the rest of her life keeping Rachel in the house just because it was 'safe'. That wasn't the life she wanted for Rachel, she didn't want to grow up wrapped in cotton wool, so she decided to take a walk around the park before they went home.

"Did you like meeting your Grandpa?" Shelby asked, beginning to chat to Rachel as she walked. "I think he enjoyed meeting you, and you seemed to settle with him didn't you, but then you'd probably settle with anyone who cuddled you wouldn't you." She smiled as she glanced down and saw Rachel's big brown eyes gazing up at her and couldn't stop herself dipping her head to rub noses with her daughter, Rachel's little hand reaching up to curl around her index finger, "you're so beautiful" she whispered, kissing her daughter's head and making her way over to an empty swingset, chuckling to herself when she saw Rachel yawn as she began to swing slowly, "every time" she whispered to herself.

Once Rachel fell asleep, Shelby spent half an hour walking around the park before heading home, deciding there and then that she'd make a conscious effort to take Rachel out more often, for both their sakes.

"Well Kid" Shelby chuckled once they were home, pulling out her phone to see messages from both her dad and her brother, her dad once again thanking her for letting him meet Rachel and telling her how nice it was to see them both, her brother asking how things had gone with their dad, "it looks like it isn't just me and you anymore, and you know what? I think I'm okay with that."


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter's a litte shorter than usual, there's a biggish time jump in this chapter, and there'll be another (smaller) time jump at the start of the next chapter too so I didn't want to make things confusing with two time jumps in one chapter. Hopefully the next chapter won't take me too long to finish!

* * *

Shelby was surprised by how quickly the months seemed to pass, the days seemed to merge into one, an endless circle of dirty diapers, feedings and sleepless nights interspersed with more snuggles than Shelby thought she'd had in the past 20 years of her life combined.

As she found her feet as a mother and became more confident about Rachel being out of the house for longer periods of time, Shelby found a lot of Mom and baby groups that she took Rachel to. Together they enjoyed story time at the library, swimming classes and even a music group that both Rachel and Shelby loved, Rachel enjoying both the activities and the attention she got and Shelby enjoying that, even if just for an hour or two, she got to spend time around other adults and have a conversation that wasn't mostly with herself.

It wasn't all fun for the pair though, a chest infection put Rachel in hospital for almost three weeks, the girl's tiny body not strong enough to fight the infection on its own. The experience of once again seeing her tiny baby in intensive care broke Shelby's heart, even if this time it was only for a few days before she was moved onto a normal ward. The hospital stay was enough to put Shelby back on edge about taking her daughter out of their home again, but, once she was sure Rachel was fully recovered, she forced herself to get back into their routine, she couldn't keep Rachel in a bubble for the rest of her life and she didn't want Rachel to pick up on her own insecurities as she grew up.

Shelby had been surprised, although she wasn't sure why, when, less than an hour after texting her brother and dad to let them know Rachel was in hospital, they'd both turned up to give her their support. The two men had made sure that Shelby knew she didn't have to struggle on her own, that she was allowed to be scared, she was allowed to be worried about her daughter, she was allowed to be human. They'd spent as much time as they could by Shelby's side and even took it in turns to sit with Rachel overnight every few days, insisting that Shelby went home to shower and sleep in her own bed as they sat with the sick infant.

Shelby found that her relationship with her father and her brother had only become stronger since she'd had Rachel, Shelby grateful that her dad didn't try to push her into 'fixing' her relationship with her mother. Shelby still hadn't spoken to her the woman, was still waiting for an apology that she knew would never come. She was surprised by how unbothered she was by this though. She knew that her father and her brother loved her and would support her and Rachel no matter what, and there'd be none of the interference or the judgement she'd get from her mother, and as much as she wished things were different, that Rachel had a grandmother, that she had a Mom who loved and supported her, she knew it was better to have a small circle of people who'd love and support her and her daughter.

Almost before they knew it, Rachel's first birthday had arrived and Shelby couldn't hold back her smile as she settled Rachel into bed the night before her birthday, heading back downstairs once she was sure the girl was settled so she could hang some banners in the living room along with a few balloons. She didn't make a big fuss though, she wanted to celebrate Rachel's birthday, but she planned to have a bigger celebration on the anniversary of the day she brought Rachel home from the hospital.

Shelby and Rachel spent the morning of Rachel's first birthday doing what they both loved most, snuggling together skin to skin. Once Rachel got restless they went downstairs, sharing a bowl of cereal for breakfast and spending a while playing with the balloons and opening the few gifts Shelby had bought her daughter. Their afternoon had consisted of their weekly music class, where Happy Birthday had been sung to the bewildered infant, and then they'd visited the park on their way home, Rachel's love for the swingset seeming to grow as she got older and Shelby knew she could never get enough of the smile on her baby's face as she slowly rocked back and forth with the girl on her lap.

She threw a small birthday party the weekend after Rachel's birthday, only inviting her Dad and her brother, sister in law and nephew. Whilst Shelby loved that Rachel got to socialise with other children at all the groups they went to, she wasn't sure she wanted a whole bunch of toddlers running riot in her home, and she didn't know how Rachel would react to a big party, so for now, Shelby was fine with keeping the celebration small.

Rachel surprised everyone at her birthday party, Shelby had kept quiet about the fact the girl had first attempted a clumsy crawl just two weeks before her first birthday, and Rachel was only too happy to show off her new skill to everyone. Shelby's nephew was overjoyed that his cousin could now crawl around with him and he spent most of the afternoon crawling around the living room with Rachel, Rachel giggling happily as she followed him.

"She's doing well" Shelby's dad smiled, putting his hand on his daughter's back as they watched Rachel laugh and clumsily clap her hands together as she knocked down the tower of blocks that Jake had just built up.

"She is" Shelby smiled, wiping away a tear as she told her Dad, "I can't believe that this time last year I didn't think she'd ever be here with me"

"Oh Shelby" the man pulled his daughter into a hug, assuming she was referring to the girl's premature birth, Shelby still keeping the story about the surrogacy to herself. "She's tough, like her Momma. And take it from me, she is like you, and you're going to have your hands full when she hits her teens."

"I don't doubt it" Shelby laughed as she wiped at her eyes, "but trouble or not, I think I'll still be grateful that she's here. I'm so lucky to have her."

He hugged her again, "and she's lucky to have you Shelby, don't ever doubt that."

Rachel crawled over to Shelby a while later, sitting back on her heels and holding out her arms as she gurgled and babbled up at her Momma. "Hello noisy" she smiled as she lifted her daughter into her arms, "I know, you've been playing with Jake haven't you?" she replied as if she understood every noise her daughter made. "Oh" Shelby tapped Rachel's nose gently as the baby yawned, "is it time for your birthday cake? And then a nap hmm?" She kissed Rachel's head as Rachel nuzzled into her, reaching into Shelby's shirt, tiny fingers curling around her bra strap, something that she'd noticed her daughter doing a lot when she was tired and unable to get skin contact with her mother, "you really are ready for a nap aren't you" she smiled.

Daniel didn't need to be asked, he was only too happy to take pictures of his sister and niece as their Dad brought Rachel's cake out, the birthday girl sat on her Momma's knee at the table, and, despite Rachel's usual reluctance to try any new foods, she was more than happy to lick the pink frosting from her tiny fingers after sticking her hand into the cake.

The baby was asleep in Shelby's arms as she said goodbye to her family, a pink handprint on Shelby's top, sticky fingers once again curled around her bra strap, "come on you" Shelby kissed her dark hair once everyone had left, "let's get you cleaned up." She carried Rachel upstairs, heading to her own room and laying Rachel down in the middle of the bed, pulling off her own top and changing her bra for one not covered in frosting before she went to fetch a damp wash cloth to clean up her daughter, silently congratulating herself when she managed to remove all the frosting without waking the girl.

She kicked off her jeans once she was done and slipped into bed in just her underwear, stripping Rachel down to her diaper and settling the baby on her chest. "you're tiny now, but I bet it won't be long until you're too big to do this" she whispered as she kissed Rachel's forehead, "so I'm going to make the most of every minute while I can."

Shelby had planned on napping with her daughter but instead found herself stroking her fingertips up and down the girl's back as she watched her sleep, taking every inch of her face, from her long dark eyelashes to her plump, full lips, parted slightly in sleep, "we've made it" she whispered, feeling her eyes fill with tears, "I know it hasn't been easy for either of us, but it's been a year and I, well, we're doing okay aren't we kid? I know I'm happy and I really hope you are too." She kissed the crown of Rachel's head, smiling as Rachel nuzzled against her chest, "one year down, a lifetime more to go".


	6. Chapter 6

This chapter introduces a familiar face that a couple of people have asked me about, so I hope you all like it!

So far the chapters have sort of been little oneshots, but I think I'm about to hit a point where this fic possibly becomes more of an ongoing thing, so we'll have to see how that goes!

* * *

A few weeks after Rachel's birthday came the day that Shelby was both looking forward to and dreading in equal measure. Her first day at college.

"How do I look?" Shelby asked Rachel as she brushed imaginary creases from her jumper, getting a gurgle in response from the baby who was sat in the middle of the bed with a selection of toys. "Yeah" she smiled as if she'd understood Rachel's response, "I think I look okay too". She scooped the baby up into her arms, and span around, smiling at the giggle that fell from Rachel's lips, "I'm going to miss you kid" she whispered, kissing Rachel's head before taking her downstairs to put her jacket on.

It might have been Shelby's first day at college but it wasn't Rachel's first time at daycare, they'd offered a few 'settling in' sessions the week before classes started, Rachel spending a few hours, first with Shelby, and then without her, to get used to the staff and their routine. Shelby had been understandably worried about leaving her daughter, but the daycare staff had been great. They'd met with Shelby, understood her worries about Rachel being, developmentally, behind her peers due to her premature birth and, with Shelby's blessing, they'd agreed that Rachel may be better suited to the 6-12 month 'baby' room than the toddler room with other children Rachel's age, the daycare agreeing that, Rachel could move into the next room whenever she was ready. They also calmed Shelby's worries about Rachel's eating habits too, Rachel might be a year old but some days she'd refuse anything other than milk but the daycare promised that they would never let Rachel get hungry, that, whilst they'd encourage her to eat at mealtimes, they'd give her a bottle of the expressed breast milk Shelby would be providing afterwards, to make sure she was satisfied.

"She'll be fine" Rachel's key worker told the worried mother as she handed Rachel over, "she was okay last week, and if she isn't okay, we'll call you, you'll be five minutes away. And if you want to check on her, you can call us or come in if you have a free minute."

"Thank you" Shelby nodded, kissing Rachel's head, "I'll see you later Darling, have a good day."

As hard as she tried, Shelby couldn't stop a few tears falling as she walked across campus to her first class, swiping them away and trying to pull herself together as she slipped into an empty seat in the back row.

"Are you okay?" Shelby turned to see a boy sat beside her, concern on his face as she dabbed at her eyes again.

"Yeah" she nodded, taking out the things she'd need from her bag and laying them on her desk, "I'm fine thanks."

Shelby would be lying if she said she wasn't nervous, she wasn't sure how well she'd do in college, knew there'd probably come a point where Rachel got ill and she had to miss some classes, her daughter would always come first. But, for now, Shelby did her best to ignore her worries about her daughter and concentrate on her classes, on writing notes that wouldn't need to be rewritten later, on doing her best, for herself and for Rachel.

As much as she wanted to, Shelby avoided checking on Rachel in person, knowing that if she saw her daughter, she'd want to forget the rest of the day and go home with her baby. She did however allow herself one phonecall at lunch time, happy to be told that, after a grumpy ten minutes, Rachel had settled well, she'd chewed on some toast at snack time and tried a few veggies at lunch time, had a bottle and was currently napping with one of Shelby's t shirts clutched to her chest after the staff had suggested that an item of clothing worn by her Mom may help Rachel settle.

"Oh, hi again."

Shelby smiled as she took a seat in her first class of the afternoon and found herself sat beside the same boy she'd sat beside that morning. "Hi."

"I erm, I'm Will" he rubbed nervously at the back of my neck, "I want to teach Spanish."

"Shelby" she smiled, "and English, maybe music too."

"So are you living in dorms or…" Will tried to make conversation as they waited for class to start.

Shelby shook her head, "no, I took a couple of years out after high school, I've got my own place. Are you in dorms?"

"No I, I only live about 20 minutes away, well, my Mom does, I still live with her."

"I'm sure you're not the only person still living at home" she tried to reassure him when she saw his slight blush at the admission that he still lived with his Mom, "and anyway, from the stories I've heard about dorms, you're probably better off living at home."

"Yeah" Will smiled, "you're probably right."

Most of their classes that day were introductory lessons, explaining the syllabus and setting out what was to be expected of them, and Shelby was grateful that her Dad and her Brother had both offered to watch Rachel for her, knowing she'd probably need help around the time of her deadlines.

"See you tomorrow?" she asked Will as she slipped on her jacket and dropped her notes into her bag.

"Yeah" he smiled, happy that he seemed to have made a friend, "you will."

Shelby didn't realise how quickly she'd raced across campus until she found herself slightly out of breath as she pressed her thumb to the sensor outside the door of the daycare building to allow her access, "I'm here for…"

"Rachel" the woman stood by the door to Rachel's room finished for her, "I'll just get her for you."

Shelby's face lit up as she heard Rachel's excited shrieks when the baby saw her Mom, "hello you" she gently tickled her stomach as she took her from the daycare worker, "I've missed you too."

"She's had a good day" Rachel's key worker held out a book, the diary the daycare kept so parents would know about their child's day, "everything's in there, but if you have any questions as you read through, feel free to ask us in the morning."

"Thanks" Shelby nodded, dropping the diary into her bag before asking, "can I feed her before I take her home?" she wasn't sure how she'd made it through the day without her chest exploding, she probably should have thought about pumping but she wasn't entirely sure if she'd be able to find anywhere private enough.

"Of course, we've got a nursing room, have you been shown it?" Shelby shook her head, "it's just down here, there's room for a couple of Moms in there but it doesn't get used very often, and there are curtains if you want some privacy" she said as she showed Shelby to a small room, the lights dimmed down and a comfortable rocker at either side of the room, with, as she was told, curtains to close around each of the chairs. "If you ever want to come and pump during the day you're more than welcome to use this space too" the woman explained before telling Shelby, "I'll leave you to it, you know where we are if you need anything."

"Thanks" Shelby smiled, making use of the pack and play in the room to set Rachel down for a moment, "I know, I know, just give me a minute" she cooed when Rachel began to whine unhappily, "let me take my jacket off so we can get comfortable." She put her jacket and her bag down before picking Rachel up, settling herself in the chair and letting her daughter feed, "shall we have some quiet time when we get home?" she asked as Rachel tugged at her ear, a sure sign she was getting tired, "we can lay down together and relax a bit before dinner, I'm tired and I know you'll have had a busy day and I bet you're feeling a bit overwhelmed aren't you?" Rachel looked up at Shelby, "I know, but you'll get used to it kid, we'll both get used to it, I promise." She smiled as she felt Rachel's little hand splay out against her breast, "we can snuggle skin to skin when we get home, I'd like that too" she whispered. Rachel pulled away from Shelby's breast to give her a milky smile and Shelby felt tears pricking at her eyes, "yeah", she kissed Rachel's forehead, as she went back to her milk, "I'm happy to see you again too kid."

Rachel fell asleep on the drive home, Shelby not at all surprised, "come on" she cooed softly, Rachel stirring as she was lifted from her car seat, "let's go and lay down". Rachel grizzled into Shelby's shoulder as she was carried inside, Shelby murmuring reassurances to her, humming in her ear and holding her close to try and settle her.

Shelby briefly thought about settling Rachel in the sling as she made dinner before changing her mind, Rachel had been separated from her all day, so Shelby decided that she was going to have at least half an hour where her attention was focused only on her daughter.

They laid together in Shelby's bed, Shelby in just her underwear and Rachel in her diaper under the covers, "is that better?" she cooed gently as Rachel let out a quiet whine before settling down, nuzzling her face against Shelby's chest, "okay, okay" she adjusted her bra, Rachel latching onto her breast, Shelby able to tell that Rachel was nursing for comfort not for hunger and she knew she could easily reach over and grab a pacifier from Rachel's crib by the bed but she didn't, happy to give Rachel whatever she needed to help her settle.

Shelby didn't intend to fall asleep but she was woken almost an hour later by Rachel's hand against her cheek, opening her eyes slowly to see Rachel put her hands on her Momma's shoulders and push herself up like she was doing a press up, "hey kid" she smiled as Rachel giggled before dropping down and nuzzling her face against Shelby's neck, "have you decided it's time for me to wake up?" she asked, kissing her daughter's head.

She didn't bother to get dressed, just wrapped a blanket around them both, changing Rachel's diaper in the nursery before heading downstairs, "do you want to play while I make us some food?" Shelby asked, as she sat Rachel on the floor. "Okay, okay" she moved to get the sling from her bag as Rachel reached out to her and began to cry as she was sat on the floor. "Oh Darling" Shelby turned to see Rachel had crawled across the room with her and knelt on the floor to be closer to her daughter as she wrapped the fabric around her body, Rachel whimpering and stretching her arms out as far as she could, getting more worked up as Shelby didn't pick her up immediately. "You're okay" Shelby picked Rachel up once she'd adjusted the sling, "I've not gone anywhere Darling" she wiped at Rachel's tears with her thumbs and kissed her softly, "come on, let's get you settled". She got Rachel settled in the sling and kissed her hair as she nuzzled into her, "that's better isn't it?" She hummed softly to Rachel as she took leftovers from the refrigerator and put them in the microwave, "are you going to try some pasta?" she asked softly as she rocked with Rachel and stroked her back, "you didn't want to try anything yesterday did you hey? Shall we see if you're in a better mood tonight?"

Shelby lifted Rachel from the sling and sat the baby on her lap as they sat at the table, knowing Rachel wouldn't be happy sitting in her highchair right now. She tipped a little of the pasta into a plastic bowl and put it on the table beside her own bowl, pulling a wide toweling bib over Rachel's head before passing her a small plastic spoon and fork, she knew the chances of Rachel feeding herself were slim, but she still wanted her to get used to sitting at the dining table at mealtimes.

Rachel poked at the pasta in her bowl, not eating anything herself but accepting the odd mouthful that Shelby fed her, mother praising her daughter each time she ate. Shelby kissed Rachel's nose when the baby tipped her head back to look up at her for the third time in as many minutes, almost as if she was checking Shelby was still there. "I'm not going anywhere baby" Shelby stabbed some pasta with a plastic fork and held it out to Rachel, "good girl" she smiled when she opened her mouth for the food, "I promise you" she kissed Rachel's hair as the girl looked up at her again, "I don't know if you understand this, but I promise you, if I leave I will always, always come back. It's me and you against the world kid. I wouldn't want to be anywhere without you."


	7. Chapter 7

I wasn't planning on updating so soon but this chapter seemed to write itself, so here it is. I'm not sure if things might be moving too fast with Shelby and Will, so I'd love to know what you think.

* * *

"Are you ever going to give me a chance or should I just stop asking?" Will chuckled slightly as he dropped his things into his bag. They were into their second month of classes and he'd been asking if Shelby wanted to grab a coffee at the end of almost every day since their first week. The pair got along well and most days they ate their lunch together, but Shelby always had to leave as soon as classes were over at the end of the day.

"You're persistent, I'll give you that" Shelby smiled, "and I'd love to, but I can't."

"Let me guess, it's not me, it's you?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded before changing her mind and shaking her head, "actually, it's not me, it's my daughter, I have to pick her up from daycare and…" she trailed off, expecting Will to look relieved, that he'd dodged a bullet, he was 18, could probably have his pick of any woman in the room, he didn't want to be stuck with Shelby and her baby.

"Okay" Will shrugged, "why don't you go and get her and then meet me at starbucks?"

Shelby frowned, "I have a baby Will…"

"I know, I've known for a while".

"You… How?" Shelby frowned.

Will laughed, slipping his arm through Shelby's and leading her out of the lecture hall, "you have a picture of you and a baby as the background on your phone, and you told me to grab a pen from your bag the other week when mine ran out, you had diapers and pacifiers in there, I didn't think they were yours." Shelby rolled her eyes, "look, I get that she's always going to come first, but I'm not asking you to marry me. It's just two friends getting coffee, it doesn't have to be anything more than that."

Shelby laughed, "you're not going to let me say no are you?"

He shook his head, "nope".

"Okay. One coffee. I shouldn't be too long, maybe 10-15 minutes."

"No rush" Will smiled, "I'll be going through my notes."

Shelby said her goodbyes to Will before going to collect Rachel, grateful for the fact she'd managed to get her a place in the daycare on campus, it was one less thing for her to worry about, knowing her baby wasn't too far away if there was an emergency, and that she didn't have to worry about sitting in traffic for ages before she could see her daughter at the end of the day.

Will had found a table at the back of the coffee shop, two comfy armchairs and his notes from that days classes spread out across the table. "Hi" he looked up as he heard Shelby's voice, the mysterious bundle of black fabric she kept in her bag now wrapped around her chest, just the top of a baby pink, woolen hat visible to Will.

"Hey" he quickly scooped all his papers back into his folder and dumped them into his bag, "sit down" he gestured to the empty chair and pulled out his wallet. "What can I get you?"

"A soya latte would be great" Shelby sat down and reached into her bag for her purse, "and can you see if they've got some carrot sticks or apple slices or something for this little one?"

"Sure" Will shook his head as he saw Shelby take out some money, "it's on me."

Shelby smiled and rubbed the baby's back as she began to whine, "thanks."

When Will came back with a tray in his hands, Shelby had settled herself in the chair, discarded the sling, and Rachel was feeding contently at her breast. "I got you a muffin too" he said as he sat back down, "I didn't just want to get one for myself, and I guessed you wanted a soya latte for a reason, so I got you the vegan raspberry, I hope that's okay."

"That's great thanks" Shelby smiled at his thoughtfulness before glancing down at Rachel, "you don't mind me feeding her do you?"

"No, of course not" Will made sure to keep his gaze on Shelby's face, "how old is she?"

"She had her first birthday two weeks before classes started."

"Oh wow, she's…"

"Small?" Shelby laughed before nodding, "she was nearly 11 weeks early, she seems to put weight on, then get sick and lose it again, but we're trying aren't we kid?" she smiled down at the baby, gently stroking her cheek, Will smiling too when he saw the girl's tiny hand wrap around Shelby's index finger.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine" Shelby reassured him, "you're not the first person to be surprised when I tell them how old she is. After everything that she went through when she was born, I'm just grateful to have her at all."

"So does she have a name?" Will asked as Shelby shifted her daughter to feed from her other breast.

"Sorry, this is Rachel." Shelby smiled as she reached for her coffee.

Will and Shelby made small talk about their classes and their teachers as Rachel fed. Shelby sitting the infant on her lap once she'd finished, "are you gonna say hi to Will?" she asked, chuckling when Rachel looked suspiciously at him before burying her face against Shelby's shirt. "She's a bit shy with strangers" Shelby apologised.

"It's fine" Will didn't mind, "do you want these?" he held out the pot of carrot sticks. "They come with a dip but obviously you don't have to use it."

"Thanks" Shelby took the package from Will, scanning the ingredient list before opening it.

"Is everything okay?" Will asked.

Shelby nodded as she offered Rachel a carrot stick and the pot of dip, watching as she inspected the food she had before clumsily dipping it in the pot Shelby held, "she gets ill if she has dairy, I was checking if she'd be okay with this."

"Is that why you wanted a soya latte?" Will asked curiously.

Shelby nodded, she can tolerate a little, but whatever it is that doesn't agree with her is passed through my breastmilk, she still feeds quite a lot, so if I have too much, she's the one that suffers."

"That makes sense" Will nodded, "my brother had a dairy allergy when he was young but he grew out of it by the time he started school, hopefully Rachel will grow out of it too."

"Hopefully, her doctor thinks she might but obviously all we can do is wait and see."

"She seems to be enjoying her carrots though" he smiled, watching as she chewed happily on her carrot stick.

"We've been struggling with weaning, she's a bit of a milk monster, but she seems to be happier to try food she can feed herself over me spooning mush into her mouth."

"I don't blame her" Will chuckled, "that seems much more fun than being fed mush" he said, Rachel giggling quietly as she got dip on her fingers, dropping the carrot, instead sucking on her fingers.

"Apparently some preemies have sensory issues, so it might be a texture thing for her, I don't know, she's the only one that knows what's going on and she can't tell us." Shelby gently stroked Rachel's back before offering her another carrot stick to stop her dipping her fingers back into the dip.

"You just have to find something that works for you both" Will smiled.

"We do, we just keep trying things don't we?" Shelby kissed Rachel's head before looking up at Will, "sorry, you didn't invite me here just so I could talk about Rachel."

"I don't mind" he shrugged, "I think if I had a daughter as adorable as Rachel I'd want to talk about her all the time too."

Shelby smiled and kissed Rachel's head again as she leant forward, "I think you've made a friend kid" she chuckled as she put her coffee down and picked up her muffin instead.

Will laughed as Rachel dropped her carrot stick, reaching out her little hand and clenching and unclenching her fist, a sure sign that she wanted something. "This is mine" Shelby raised one eyebrow, "these are yours" she offered Rachel a carrot stick.

"Oh, look at that pout" Will laughed as Rachel refused the carrot stick and babbled almost angrily at Shelby, still reaching towards the muffin.

"She might be tiny but she certainly knows how to get her own way" Shelby laughed as she broke off a little bit of the muffin for her daughter, "you're meant to be getting used to the tastes of fruits and vegetables".

"It's a raspberry muffin" Will held his hands up in surrender at the glare Shelby gave him.

"You're going to be a bad influence Schuester, I can tell!"

"I'll do my best" Will teased, "she's beautiful though" he smiled, "you must be proud."

"I am" Shelby kissed Rachel's head, "she's so tiny, and she's been through so much but she just keeps fighting, you're a tough one aren't you kid?" she dipped her head to rub noses with Rachel when the baby grinned up at her, patting Shelby's cheek with her little hand.

"Is her dad…" Will shook his head, "sorry, that's none of my business."

"No, he… It's complicated but he's not around, I'll tell you about it some other time, maybe when we're somewhere less public?" she suggested.

"So you're going to let there be another time?" Will smirked.

"Only if you don't push your luck" Shelby teased.

Shelby and Will fell into easy conversation, as they drank their coffees, Rachel occasionally adding to the conversation with a babble or a gurgle, Shelby digging a set of plastic keys out of her bag to keep the baby entertained for a while once she'd eaten the muffin and lost interest in her carrot sticks.

She'd only intended on staying for a little while, but she lost track of time and realised they'd been talking for almost an hour before Rachel started to get a little cranky and Shelby decided to take her home before she got too upset. "I'm just going to use the bathroom before I go" she said as she stood with Rachel in her arms.

"I erm, I could take her if that would make things easier for you" Will suggested nervously when he realised Shelby was taking Rachel but leaving her bag behind so probably wouldn't be changing the girl's diaper.

Shelby smiled, "if you're sure?" she saw Will nod before kissing Rachel's head, "I'll be back soon" she promised as she handed Rachel over to Will, smiling as he gently bounced her on his knee, before making her way to the bathroom.

"I never had you down as a Bob Dylan fan" Shelby smiled as she returned from the bathroom to find Will stood by their table, singing 'Forever Young' quietly to Rachel as he swayed with her in his arms, Rachel gazing up at him inquisitively.

"There's a lot about me you don't know" Will teased, "she wasn't happy about you leaving her with me, but she seems to have settled a little bit."

"She always does if someone sings to her" Shelby smiled as she held her arms out to take Rachel from him.

"Could I take you out for dinner?" Will blurted out without thinking, quickly adding "both of you."

"No" Shelby saw Will's face fall, "I mean, Rachel doesn't settle too well if she's out of her routine with regards to bedtime, you're more than welcome to come over to ours one evening though, I can cook us dinner and then I'll put this one to bed and we could watch a movie or something?"

"Yeah" Will smiled happily, "I'd like that."

"Friday?" Shelby suggested, "if you don't already have plans."

"No, no, I, Friday's good for me."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "I'll give you my address tomorrow, I think it's time I got this little one home" Shelby sat Rachel in the chair as she slipped on her own jacket before crouching down to slip Rachel's arms into a tiny coat, "I know" Shelby cooed as Rachel began to fuss, "we usually have quiet time when we get home so we can relax a little after our busy days don't we?" she gently stroked Rachel's cheek, "but it's okay, we're going now and when we get back you can have a bath with Momma, how does that sound?" she asked, rummaging in her bag, pulling out a pacifier and briefly sucking on it herself before popping it into Rachel's mouth, her fingers fanning out on the baby's cheek as her thumb held the pacifier in place until she was sure Rachel was going to keep it in her mouth, "better?" she asked, kissing Rache's forehead before lifting her daughter into her arms and standing again, Rachel snuggling tiredly into Shelby's shoulder.

"Sorry" Will said softly after watching the interaction with a small smile on his face, "I shouldn't have pushed you into this, you two obviously have your routine and…"

"Will" Shelby put her bag on her shoulder before reaching out to put her hand on his arm mid sentence, "don't worry about it, I wouldn't have agreed if I hadn't wanted to come, yes Rachel's getting cranky but she's tired and probably a little overstimulated, but she'll fall asleep in the car and the two of us will have some down time when we get home and she'll be as right as rain, honestly, you don't need to apologise, in fact, I've enjoyed spending time with you, and I think Rachel has too."

Will's face lit up, he knew how important Rachel was to Shelby, so he knew it was important that, even if they were only ever friends, Rachel was comfortable with him, "really?"

"Yeah" Shelby smiled as she began to rock Rachel, "she was happy to stay with you so I could pee alone out of the house for the first time since she came home from hospital, that's a big thing for her.

Will smiled, "I erm, I don't mind watching her sometime, if you maybe wanted to take a bath or go out for a while or something?"

Shelby smiled and reached up with her free hand to gently stroke Will's cheek, "that's very sweet of you" she smiled, "thank you" she said, leaning up on tiptoes to gently kiss his cheek, "I'll keep that in mind, but for now I think I should get Rachel into the car so she can nap before she has a meltdown."

"Okay" Will almost couldn't believe what had just happened, "I'll see you in class tomorrow?" he asked.

Shelby nodded as she turned to leave with Rachel, "absolutely."


	8. Chapter 8

It's been a couple of weeks since the last update, so I've made this chapter a little longer to make up for that, I hope you like it!

* * *

Shelby wanted to sob as she heard Will's knock at the door. Rachel had chosen Friday afternoon to have a meltdown of proportions Shelby hadn't seen since the girl had been tiny. She'd been fussy when Shelby had picked her up from daycare but that was nothing new. As she always did, Shelby had fed Rachel before leaving daycare and Rachel had fallen asleep in the car. That was usual, as was the fact that Shelby had laid down with her daughter for a while once they were home. But then Rachel had woken. And she'd screamed. And she hadn't stopped since.

Shelby had tried everything, Rachel didn't want to be fed, didn't need changing, wouldn't take a pacifier. She didn't have a fever, so, at her wit's end, Shelby had given her a small dose of an infant painkiller and rubbed teething gel onto her gums just in case, before stripping Rachel to her diaper, taking off her own shirt and putting Rachel in the sling, desperately hoping that some skin contact would settle the baby, or at the very least, she'd tire after a while and fall back to sleep, hopefully waking in a better mood.

"I'm so sorry" Shelby whispered, tears pricking at her eyes as she opened the door, she was still in sweatpants with just her oversized hoodie over herself and Rachel, who was still grizzling unhappily in the sling, "I wanted to shower and change before you got here but Rachel's barely stopped crying since we got home. If you want to take a raincheck then I'll understand, if you just want to call if a day…"

"Shelby" Will reached out, his hand on her arm stopping her rambling, he could tell she was close to tears as he stepped into the house and closed the door behind himself, "tell me what I can do?"

Shelby frowned, "what, what do you mean?"

"How can I help you?" Will asked, "do you want me to make dinner or even just order takeout? Do you want me to make you coffee? Do you want me to take Rachel for a while so you can shower and change? What do you want me to do?"

"Wha…" Shelby had expected Will to leave, had prepared herself to watch him walk away without looking back, so the fact that Will walked her over to the sofa and pushed her gently to sit down before sitting beside her, one hand on Shelby's shoulder, the other gently resting on Rachel's back both confused and surprised her.

"Take a breath Shelby." Will waited for her to take a few deep breaths, deciding, when her tearfilled eyes met his, to stick to a simple question, "would you like a drink?" he asked. She nodded, struggling to keep her tears at bay, "what would you like? Tea? Coffee? Water? Juice?"

"Water please" Shelby looked up at him, "why are you doing this Will?" she asked, closing her eyes briefly as Rachel let out a loud wail, "I know" she whispered, rubbing her baby's back, "but I don't know what's wrong Darling, the only thing I can think of is that you're overwhelmed or overtired and the only way to fix that is for you to go to sleep and you're fighting it Rachel, I can't help that, I'm sorry."

Will watched the interaction with a sad smile,"I'm doing this because you're my friend, what sort of friend would I be if I left the two of you crying together hey? So let me get you that water and then we can decide on the next step" he said, squeezing her arm before heading into, what he assumed to be the kitchen to get Shelby some water.

"Come on darling" Shelby stood and began to pace, gently rubbing Rachel's back, desperate to settle her, "I wish you could tell me what's wrong" she sighed as Rachel reached up a hand to Shelby, looking up at her as if she was begging her Mom to do something, "I wish you could tell me what you need.

"Here you go" Will spoke softly as he walked over with Shelby's water, not wanting to startle mother or daughter.

"Thank you" Shelby took the glass, thinking back over Will's words, remembered him mentioning a 'next step' not sure what he meant, not sure what he expected of her right now.

"Now" Will's hand came to rest between Shelby's shoulder blades when she'd had chance to sip at her water, "have you started dinner?"

Shelby's heart sank, he was expecting her to make dinner for him, of course he was, that was why he was here, "no, I got a few things out but I haven't… She's been like this since we got in and I…"

"It's okay" Will stopped Shelby, "if you've started I was going to offer to finish so nothing went to waste, but I'm not a great cook so if you haven't made a start, how about I order us a pizza, no, you can't have dairy can you?" he quickly corrected himself, "Chinese? Indian? Burgers? You need to eat Shelby, whether Rachel's cranky or not."

Shelby sighed almost in relief, "pizza would be good, there's a menu stuck to the fridge for a place that does pizzas with dairy free cheese, it's expensive so I'll pay for it, just order whatever you want and…"

"Shelby" he cut her off again, "don't worry, I'll sort it, what do you want?"

Shelby wanted to sob, "just a margherita please."

"Okay" Will nodded, "I'll go order now."

"Will" Shelby sighed when he came back into the room, "I… you don't have to do this."

"I know you're used to doing everything on your own" Will said softly, "but I want to help you, I want… I want you to be able to trust me, I, I want to help you, if you'll let me." Shelby swiped frustratedly at her eyes as her tears began to fall, "come here." He pulled her into his arms, careful of Rachel still sobbing against her Momma, "the pizza's going to be about forty minutes, so if you want to take a shower or get changed or just take five minutes, I don't mind holding Rachel for you."

"The pizza." Shelby pulled away from Will, his words about how she couldn't have dairy suddenly registering in her mind.

"Yeah, I got the vegan margherita, that's okay right?"

"I need my bag" she sounded almost frantic, "I, I need my bag." She quickly made her way over to where she'd dropped her purse on the floor by the shoe rack, pulling out Rachel's daycare diary, "fuck" she ran her hand through her hair, "I'm so sorry baby, I should have noticed, I should have known baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Shelby?" Will knelt on the floor beside her, not entirely sure what was going on.

"Daycare write down everything she's eaten" she gestured to the book as she dropped it back into her bag and pushed herself to her feet, "she has a yoghurt most days, usually it says soy yoghurt or coconut yoghurt, but today it just says yoghurt, I think she's had dairy. No wonder she's not happy."

"Is there anything I can do?" Will didn't know how he could help but knew he wanted to do anything he could.

"Her doctor prescribed her something to take of this happens to make her more comfortable, in the kitchen, there's a medicine syringe by the sink, could you rinse it out for me?"

"Of course" Will quickly went to do as Shelby asked as Shelby made her way to the downstairs bathroom to get both of the medications that Rachel had been prescribed, the woman still apologising to her daughter for not realising sooner.

"I know" Shelby whispered as she gently pushed the syringe into Rachel's mouth for the second time, "but these will make you feel better kid, and the painkiller that I gave you earlier will help too, you can have some more of that later, and probably another dose of these too, I'm sorry Rachel, I'm sorry."

Will gently squeezed Shelby's arm, "you weren't to know Shelby, you don't need to blame yourself."

"I'm her Mom" she whispered, "I'm her Mom, she was hurting and I didn't know."

"You're her Mom and you trust daycare to look after her Shelby, they made a mistake, and I'm sure you'll bring this up with them, you recognised what this was and straight away you've done what you can to make her feel better, you don't need to feel guilty."

"I should have known."

"Have daycare done this before?"

Shelby shook her head, "they're usually really good about it, they have so many dairy free options for her, she even had dairy free mac and cheese the other day, they're usually so good."

"So it's not like this is something that happens often? If it was I'm sure you'd have known straight away, but like you've said, it's not happened before, if it's not happened before, of course it's not going to be your first thought Shelby."

Shelby sighed," I'm sorry, I'm sure this isn't how you wanted to spend your Friday evening."

Will took Shelby's hand and squeezed it gently, "I wanted to spend my Friday evening with you, so far so good" he winked cheekily.

Shelby laughed and wiped at her eyes, kissing Rachel's head when she saw the girl had already started to calm down as he medicine worked quickly, and she reached for a pacifier laying on the coffee table, kissing Rachel's hair again "good girl" she murmured when, this time, she began to suck on it. "Does your offer of watching this one so I can change still stand now she's a little calmer?" she asked.

Will smiled and nodded, reaching out to tuck a strand of Shelby's hair behind her ear, "of course."

"Can you grab that blanket?" Shelby gestured to a small grey blanket with white stars, thrown over the back of the couch. "She's only in her diaper and I don't want her getting cold." Will nodded and passed Shelby the blanket, Shelby bundling Rachel up and zipping up the hoodie to keep herself covered. "Are you going to sit with Will so I can get dressed now you're a little more settled?" she asked. Rachel was still whimpering but the medication had worked quickly and she was feeling a lot better than before.

"We'll be fine won't we?" Will reached out to gently stroke Rachel's cheek, "Momma's only going to be upstairs, and between you and me, I think she might need ten minutes to herself."

"Thank you" Shelby smiled as she passed Rachel over to Will, "I really do appreciate this."

Will waved his hand dismissively, "you don't need to thank me" he bounced Rachel gently on his knee as she whined a little. "Go do what you need to do. We'll be fine" he promised.

Shelby paused at the top of the stairs, Rachel was still whimpering but she wasn't screaming so she took that as a good sign and chanced a quick shower too, taking Will's advice and taking a few minutes for herself to calm down.

It didn't take Shelby long, less than 20 minutes later she was heading back downstairs, damp hair tied back in a messy bun and dressed simply in dark wash skinny jeans and an oversized grey sweater worn over a black tank top, bare feet and her face free of makeup. It wasn't exactly what she'd planned on wearing, she'd wanted to make an effort, she'd wanted to look nice for Will, but, as she'd quickly learnt after bringing Rachel home, having a baby meant that you couldn't really plan anything.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, smiling as she saw Rachel and Will curled together on the couch, Rachel still bundled in the blanket, gazing up at Will as she sat on his lap, a confused frown on her face as she tried to figure out the man holding her. Will had found one of Rachel's picture books and was quietly reading to the baby to keep her settled.

"Hey" she made her presence known as Will finished the story.

Will's eyes almost fell from his head as he saw Shelby, he'd never seen her without makeup before and he was almost blown away by just how beautiful she was, "hi" he smiled, "you look…"

"I know" Shelby sighed, picking at the jumper, "I was going to…" she shrugged, taking Rachel when she reached out for her, "it seemed a bit pointless me going all out now you've seen me crying in sweats."

"You look amazing Shelby, honestly, I mean it, and this is your home, we're just getting a pizza, you don't need to dress up, you never need to dress up for me. I mean, I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to, but don't ever feel like you have to."

"Thank you" Shelby smiled, sitting Rachel on her lap and dressing her in the vest and onsie she'd brought down with her, kissing the girl's head and wrapping the blanket around her as Rachel nuzzled into her, making herself comfortable, "I haven't, it's the first time I've done anything like this since I had Rachel and it…" she shrugged, "I don't… I really like you Will, but I've got a baby, not even an easy baby and…" she sighed, "even just as a friend, it's a lot for you to be taking on, there are probably going to be times when I have to bail on plans at the last moment. Rachel will always come first and…"

"I understand Shelby. I know there's nothing I can say or do to make you believe that, but it doesn't matter to me that you have Rachel. I, I like you a lot Shelby, but I get it, you're a Mom and whether we're friends or anything else, I know you're always going to put her before me. I get that, I do, but we. We can just be friends, if that's what you want Shelby then that's fine, and anything else? Well, we haven't finished our first semester yet, we've got plenty of time to take things slowly."

"I, I wouldn't be against us being more than friends" Shelby told him honestly, Will's heart soaring at her statement, "but let's not force it. Let's spend some time together, all three of us, and I can ask my dad or my brother to watch this one" she gently stroked Rachel's stomach, "so we could go out for dinner together or catch a movie or something. I suppose what I'm saying is, let's not force anything, let's just spend time together and see what happens."

Will nodded, understood why Shelby didn't want to rush into anything. "That sounds good to me."

"Can you…" Shelby looked to Will when she heard a knock at the door, Rachel had finally settled and Shelby didn't want to disturb her by getting up, "help yourself to the money from my purse."

Will stood but shook his head, taking his wallet from his back pocket, "don't worry about it" he told her as he went to answer the door.

"Thanks" Shelby smiled as Will put the pizza down on the coffee table, one large pizza, a side of potato wedges and a bottle of soda.

"Do you want a plate or…?"

"Please" Shelby nodded, "if you don't mind, I don't usually but it might be easier with…" she gestured to Rachel.

"Sure, where are they?"

"In the cupboard above the microwave, thanks Will."

He winked cheekily as he turned to the kitchen, "nothing to thank me for."

"I'll see if she'll let me settle her down upstairs after we've eaten" Shelby said as Will came back with plates and glasses, putting two slices of pizza and a handful of potato wedges on a plate and passing it to Shelby before pouring her a glass of soda too, "then we can watch a movie or something."

"You don't have to" Will told her, "I'll understand if you'd rather keep her down here so you can keep an eye on her."

Shelby shook her head, looking down at the baby curled into her, "she seems settled now, I've got a baby monitor so I'll hear her if she's not settled, and anyway, I'd quite like to spend some time just being Shelby, not Mommy."

"That's fair enough" Will nodded, "just don't feel like you have to put her to bed on my account."

Shelby smiled softly before taking a bite of her pizza, "thank you" she saw Rachel watching her eat, "do you want to try some?" she offered the slice to the girl, "okay, okay" she bounced her gently when she got a whine and a defiant turn of the head from the girl, "I'll try and feed you before you go to bed."

"How did you find out she couldn't have dairy?" Will asked, "if you don't mind me asking."

Shelby shook her head, not minding him asking at all, "I, when she was first born, she was too tiny to feed, she was fed through an IV for a while, and then, when she got bigger, stronger, she had a tube that went down her nose and into her stomach and she was fed expressed breast milk until she was strong enough to actually feed for herself. She was fine in hospital but when I got her home she completely changed, her pediatrician suggested an allergy or an intolerance of something, but it had to be something I was eating. He suggested wheat or dairy as the most likely causes, and I was pretty much living off sandwiches when she was in hospital so I doubted it was wheat. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised I was drinking my coffee black at the hospital but adding milk at home, I'd started eating cheese and yoghurts and using butter again, things I wasn't eating in the hospital, so the doctor suggested that I tried cutting out dairy or moving Rachel onto dairy free formula to see if that made a difference. It took so long for Rachel to physically be able to breastfeed that I didn't want to give that up so soon so I stopped eating dairy and within a couple of days, she was back to being herself again."

"Poor thing. It's good that you and her doctor worked it out so quickly though, with my brother, he was older and my parents had to cut pretty much everything out of his diet and then slowly reintroduce them until they found out what it was."

"Yeah, I guess we got lucky on that count. I'll have to speak to the daycare on Monday though. I don't…" Shelby sighed, "she's already been through so much, I couldn't help her before but now I can, her diet, that's something I can control." She shook her head, "sorry. I'm stuck in Mom mode again, you can tell me to shut up if you want."

"I don't mind" Will said honestly as he reached for another slice of pizza, the dairy free cheese tasting better than he'd expected, "and if I'm going to be around, it makes sense that I know all there is to know about that little lady, and I'm sure eventually I'll get you to tell me all your little secrets too" he teased.

Once Shelby had finished eating she put her plate back on the table, slipping up her sweater and pulling down her tank top, a tried and tested method for feeding her daughter without exposing herself. She smiled softly at the sleepy baby who gazed up at her as she fed contently, her hand clasped around Shelby's index finger the way it always had.

Wanting to give Shelby some space to feed Rachel, Will busied himself with clearing away the leftovers and washing the plates, leaving them on the draining board once he'd done. "She's almost gone" Shelby said as she saw Will walk back into the room, "so I'm going to go and put her upstairs. I shouldn't be too long."

"Okay" Will picked up the pacifier from the couch and held it out to Shelby, "do you need this?"

"No thanks" Shelby shook her head as she stood, "can you just put it on the table please? We have bedtime ones upstairs, they glow in the dark, it makes them easier to find when she spits them out in the night and then wakes me up crying for it" she chuckled.

Just as Shelby suspected, it didn't take long for her to settle the baby down, Rachel grumbling slightly at being settled in her crib, just like she always did. Shelby knew she wouldn't be in there for long though, just like every other night, Rachel would only sleep in her crib until Shelby went up to bed, then she'd spend the rest of the night tucked into her Momma's chest.

"Everything okay?" Will asked as Shelby came back downstairs.

"Yeah" she smiled, letting out a sigh of relief, "out like a light thankfully" she told him as she picked up the baby monitor from the sideboard and turning it on, smiling at the quiet little snores she could hear.

"She's adorable" Will smiled.

"Yeah" Shelby sat down, this time choosing to sit right beside Will instead of at the opposite end of the couch like she had earlier in the evening, "she is." She picked up the control for the TV, "do you want to watch a movie?"

"Sure" Will smiled, "I'd like that."

"Do you have a preference?" she asked as she began flicking through, looking for something they could watch.

Will shook his head, "I suppose you wouldn't be impressed if I suggested a horror film, so I could hold you when you get scared?" he teased.

Shelby laughed and tucked herself into Will's side, moving his arm so it was draped around her shoulders, "how about you just hold me without me having to get scared first?" she winked playfully.

Will nodded and laughed, gently pulling Shelby closer, "that sounds like a better idea, if you'd put a horror on I'd probably have been the one trying to hide behind a cushion" he admitted.

In the end the film didn't matter, they were less than twenty minutes in when Shelby turned to look up at Will, he met and held her gaze for a short moment before dipping his head, capturing her lips with his own. Shelby let out a surprised gasp but didn't stop him, letting her hand curl around the back of his neck as she returned the kiss.

Shelby put her hand on Will's cheek to get his attention as his hand slid from her hip to her back, slipping under the hem of her top to rest on the warm skin of the small of her back, "I…"

"Sorry" Will moved his hand out from under her jumper, "I got carried away, we don't have to…"

"No, no, I mean, I'm okay with this" she gestured to the two of them, "I'm just not ready to go any further, not yet."

"That's okay" Will reassured her, "I don't, I mean, I've never…"

Shelby smiled and used the hand on Will's cheek to pull him down so she could kiss him again, "that's okay" she whispered softly as their lips parted, "I've only had one serious relationship before, it's not… let's just see what happens yeah, and if we get to that point then we can just take it slowly, there's no need to rush anything."

"Okay" Will kissed Shelby again, "but you're okay with this?"

Shelby smiled and nodded, "I don't think I could stop if I tried."

Rachel didn't wake, and Will and Shelby didn't pay any attention to the movie, Will gently pulling Shelby into his lap as they made out, switching between sharing kisses and just holding each other close, "you're so beautiful" Will whispered as Shelby's forehead rested against his own, his hands around her waist as she draped her arms around his neck.

Shelby chuckled, "you need your eyes testing Schuester."

"I had them tested in the summer, 20/20 vision" he smirked.

Shelby rolled her eyes, "jerk".

"I've been called worse" Will kissed her again.

"Thank you though" Shelby said honestly, "you had every right to leave tonight, to walk away as soon as I opened the door with a crying baby, I don't… If it wasn't for you, I'd probably have spent tonight crying just as much as Rachel."

"Don't worry about it" Will said softly, tucking a strand of Shelby's hair that had worked itself loose from her bun, behind her ear, "if you ever need anything, even just someone to take Rachel for five minutes to give you a moment to yourself, just call me Shelby, whenever."

"Thank you" Shelby smiled, running her hand through Will's curls before kissing him again and letting her head fall to his shoulder.

"Tired?" she nodded against his shoulder, "I'll go home, let you go to bed then."

Shelby shook her head, "you don't need to do that" she protested, but failed to hold back a yawn.

"I think I do" Will laughed, kissing Shelby again, "we could erm… if you don't have plans, and if Rachel's feeling okay, we could maybe go for a walk in the park or something over the weekend" he suggested as he carefully lifted Shelby off his lap.

Shelby nodded and stood when Will did, "I think we'd like that. I'm seeing my brother tomorrow so Sunday?" Will nodded, "Rachel will be up before six, so feel free to come round whenever." She took a breath before suggesting, "when I see my brother tomorrow I could erm, I could ask him if he'll watch Rachel next Friday? We could go on a proper date?"

"I'll pick you up at seven" Will winked.

Shelby shook her head, "I'll pick you up at seven" she told him, "and save you from the overprotective big brother inquisition."

They were unable to resist sharing a few more kisses between the couch and the front door, but eventually they said goodbye, Will getting into his car and Shelby heading up to her daughter and her bed.

She changed into pyjama bottoms, leaving her top half bare, she'd long since discovered that, if she slept topless, Rachel would feed in the night without waking her, that and the girl loved the skin contact, Shelby frequently woke to the feel of her daughter's tiny fingers stroking whichever bit of skin she could reach. She used the bathroom before carefully lifting Rachel into her arms and rocking her gently, "come on kid" she kissed her hair as she got into bed, letting out a content hum as she settled down with her baby, "What do you think to Will?" she asked quietly, "he walked in on you having a meltdown and me about to join you but he just took it in his stride. It almost feels too good to be true. But it's nice to have some adult company, other than Uncle Dan and Grandpa" Shelby kissed Rachel's hair again, "just know though kid, no matter what happens between will and I, you'll always be my number one."


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry this has taken so long, there was a part of this chapter that I just couldn't get to read right no matter how many times I rewrote it, so I decidedjust to delete that part so you wouldn't be waiting any longer. Hopefully it won't take me quite so long to get the next chapter finished!

* * *

"It's me" Shelby called as she let herself into her brother's house, it was raining quite heavily and Daniel had already texted his sister telling her not to knock, not wanting his niece waiting in the rain for him to answer the door, "are you letting them know you're here too?" Shelby cooed as Rachel babbled nonsense that sounded like she was trying to imitate her mother's words, "you're a clever girl aren't you?" she kissed Rachel's forehead, smiling at the cheeky grin she got in response.

"Auntie Shelly, Rachie!" Jake beamed, bouncing down the stairs on his butt, Daniel following close behind.

"Sorry" Dan apologised, "monkey didn't want to get dressed this morning."

"It's okay" Shelby turned her attention to the baby squirming in her arms, "give me a minute" she chuckled, slipping off Rachel's jacket before setting her on the floor, watching as her nephew wrapped her daughter in a big bear hug. "We wouldn't have minded him not being dressed" she turned her attention back to her brother as Rachel crawled into the living room after Jake.

"If he was in his pyjamas I wouldn't have minded, but he was running around butt naked, nobody wants to be greeted with that" Dan chuckled, moving to stand by the door to the living room to keep an eye on the kids as Shelby slipped off her own jacket and shoes.

"It's not like I haven't changed his diaper before" Shelby laughed, "but yeah, clothes are probably a good idea in that situation."

Dan waited for Shelby to make her way through to the living room before asking, "coffee?"

"I'd love one thanks. Someone had me up at 5" she rolled her eyes.

Dan laughed as he pushed himself up from the door frame, "I'll make it a strong one then."

"Where's Katie?" Shelby asked her brother, thanking him as he passed her a mug and sat down beside her.

"She goes to some exercise class or something on a Saturday morning with her friends and they go out for coffee after, I don't really ask, she has the little dude all week, she deserves a break."

Shelby smiled, "speaking of a break" Dan raised his eyebrow, "would you like to let your baby sister have a break and watch your favourite niece for a few hours on Friday?" she asked with a sweet smile.

"Jeez Shel, use a trowel, you can spread it on thicker" he laughed, "and Rachel's my only niece, of course she's going to be my favourite. But sure I'll watch her, do you want to bring her here or do you want me to come to you?"

"It might be easier to get her settled if she's at home, but if it's easier for you to watch her here then I'll bring her over."

"No, I can watch her at yours" Dan smiled as he watched his son playing with Rachel, Jake was usually a loud and boisterous toddler, he loved climbing and running and play fighting with his dad but he completely changed when he was with Rachel, he was calmer and quieter and often stopped what he was doing just to hug his cousin. "Do I get to meet the little punk that's taking my baby sister out?"

Shelby sipped at her coffee, "who says I'm going on a date?"

"Oh, come on" Daniel playfully nudged his sister, "it's written all over your face, so, do I get to meet him?"

"Absolutely not, I'm picking him up just to be sure."

"Hmm, so he's making you pick him up? Not being the gentleman and…"

"He offered" Shelby interrupted, "I turned him down because I knew either you or Dad would be at my house to watch Rachel and I didn't want either of you scaring him off."

"Have you spoken to dad recently?" Shelby's words distracted Dan from trying to find out more about his sister's love life.

Shelby thought for a minute, "I spoke to him a couple of weeks ago, why?"

Dan shook his head, "no reason, I just wondered" he lied.

"Dan" Shelby raised an eyebrow.

"It's not really my place to say anything."

"So there is something? Is it Dad? Is he okay? Has something happened?"

Dan sighed, "you can't say anything, let him tell you when he's ready" Shelby nodded, "he's left Mom."

Shelby's jaw dropped, "he's, I… when? Why?"

"It's been a couple of weeks, he crashed here for a few nights before he found somewhere else."

"What happened?" Dan didn't say anything, couldn't even look his sister in the eye and her heart sank, Shelby desperately trying to swallow the lump in her throat as she asked, "was it because of me?"

"No" Dan's head snapped up, "absolutely not," this was all on Mom" he saw the tears forming in Shelby's eyes and sighed, rubbing a hand over his face before telling her, "Mom found Dad's bank statement, saw he'd been sending you money every month and pretty much told him he had to choose her or you, and he chose you Shel."

"He…? No! He shouldn't have done that. I, he…"

"Shel" Dan put his mug down, "just imagine for a moment, this guy you're going on a date with…"

"Will."

"Will" Dan nodded, "imagine something happened and Will wanted you to choose between him and Rachel…"

"Rachel" Shelby interrupted, "every time" she didn't even need to think about it.

"Okay, so, you choose Rachel and you and Will split up. Is that Rachel's fault?"

Shelby shook her head, "no, he, she's my daughter, she'll always come first.".

"And that's exactly how it is between Mom and Dad, Dad made the same decision you would, and for the same reason you would, you're his daughter, Rachel's his granddaughter, you come first."

"But it's different, Rachel, she's just a baby, I, I can support myself, I…"

"Do you really think your answer would be any different if Will waited 20 years to ask you to choose between him and Rachel?"

"No" Shelby whispered, knowing her brother was right, Rachel could be 50 years old and Shelby would still put her first.

"If I'm honest, I'm surprised it took him this long, I've been expecting it since Christmas, he was furious with her for trying to intimidate you into letting her see Rachel." Dan held up his hand, "that wasn't your fault either. You said no, you told her why you said no, you were a scared new Mom of a sick baby and instead of supporting you, she ignored your wishes, tried to push herself into your home and get her own way. Her selfishness is not your fault Shelby, and let's face it, you and I haven't spoken to her since, Dad's gone and as for those two" he gestured to Rachel and Jake, still playing together, "she's never met Rachel, she hasn't seen Jake in almost a year, she's the one that's missing out Shel, not us."

"Yeah" Shelby sighed, "I suppose so." She smiled slightly as she saw Rachel slowly crawling towards her, "hey kid" she watched as Rachel sit back on her heels and babble at her, "come on then" she held out her arms but made no effort to lift the girl from the floor.

"Wha…"

"Just give her a minute" Shelby stopped Dan picking Rachel up, both watching as, with a determined look on her face, Rachel crawled closer, using Shelby's legs to pull herself to her feet, clinging tightly to her jeans as she got her balance before reaching out, she couldn't quite reach the couch so Shelby held out her own hand, Rachel gripping tightly to her Momma's middle and index finger as she took a shaky step towards the couch, bashing both hands against the fabric with an excited shriek when she made it. "Clever girl" Shelby beamed, lifting Rachel into her arms and kissing her nose before sitting the girl on her lap.

"Wow, you are getting big aren't you" Dan reached out to tickle Rachel's stomach, "when did she learn that?"

"She's been pulling herself up on things, mainly me, for a few weeks now, but she took a couple of steps the other night, I was sat on the floor, she was clinging to my hands and then she took a really shaky step forwards and sort of threw herself at me" she beamed proudly, "I don't think she's ready to do it on her own though.

"That's great, and if she's walking holding onto things she'll get the hang of doing it on her own eventually won't you?" Dan tickled Rachel's stomach again, smiling as Rachel giggled and batted at his hand, he knew that, by the time he was Rachel's age, Jake was racing around chatting away to anyone and everyone, and he had to occasionally remind himself that Rachel had spent her first three months in hospital, fighting for her life, and the fact she was here at all was almost a miracle.

"We just have to be patient don't we kid" Shelby tapped Rachel's nose, "you'll get there."

"She's chatty" Dan took his niece, bouncing her on his knee when she babbled and reached out to him.

"She is" Shelby reached into her bag and pulled out a toy for Rachel to chew on when she saw her push her fingers into her mouth, "I just wish I knew what she was trying to tell me, but right now, I think it would be along the lines of how her gums hurt because she's got another tooth coming through."

"The more teeth the better" Dan smiled, "we'll get you eating steak soon, that'll help you grow."

"Good luck with that, she's the fussiest eater I've ever known, she is growing though, just very slowly!"

"As long as you're growing kid, that's all that matters."

Rachel and Shelby left Dan's just before lunchtime, eating together at home before Shelby took her daughter upstairs, curling up with her on the bed so they could nap together. Shelby was always reluctant to do too much on the weekends, she'd spent so long being with Rachel 24/7 that she liked to spend as much time as she could with her daughter when she wasn't at college. They still went out, Rachel enjoyed going swimming, and always got excited by the ball pit at an indoor play centre not too far from thier house, but Shelby always made sure they had plenty of time to spend together just the two of them, and from the way Rachel always cuddled so closely to her, Shelby knew her daughter appreciated their time together too.

"Hey" Shelby couldn't hold back her smile when she opened the door to Will, a little after 9.30 on Sunday morning, "come in, we won't be a minute."

"Okay" Will stepped inside and pushed the door closed, smiling when he saw Rachel clumsily crawling towards the door, the baby wanting to know where her Mommy was. "Hello to you too" Will crouched down when Rachel babbled up at him, "you're in a better mood than the last time I saw you aren't you? Oh" he was surprised when Rachel reached out to him and he looked up at Shelby, "can I…"

"Sure" she smiled, adjusting the fabric of Rachel's sling over her chest, "you don't have to ask."

Will lifted Rachel into his arms and stood to his feet again, "are we going to go for a walk in the park?" he asked, noticing the inquisitive way Rachel stared up at him, like she wasn't quite sure what to make of him yet.

"She likes to swing" Shelby told him, "she always has" she said, slipping Rachel's arms into her jacket as Will held her, "come on then" she held her arms out, chuckling as Rachel almost threw herself towards her Mommy, "let's get you settled."

Will watched as Shelby got Rachel into the sling, kissing her head and asking if she was comfortable before pulling on her own jacket and picking up a small rucksack, "doesn't she have a stroller?" Will asked curiously, he could understand Shelby carrying Rachel from her car to daycare and back as it wasn't far, but he hadn't expected her to carry the baby on their walk.

Shelby shook her head as they left the house, "I did buy one when she first came home, with a bassinet thing so she could lay flat, but she spent so long sleeping on my chest when she was in hospital that she cried whenever I so much as laid her in it so I returned it. I think about buying another one every now and again but" she shrugged, "I guess I've got used to carrying her now, even my Dad and my Brother carry her if they watch her. She's so small she barely weighs anything and it's a lot easier not having to worry about lugging a stroller round when we go some place busy."

"Yeah, I can imagine there are times when it's easier to carry her, and I suppose I wouldn't be able to do this if you were pushing a stroller" Will said softly before slipping a slightly clammy hand into Shelby's.

Shelby bit her lip, feeling her cheeks flush slightly, "no" she moved her hand to slip her fingers between Will's, "I suppose you wouldn't."

There was a content silence between the pair for a while as they walked, hand in hand, towards the park, "so" it was Shelby who spoke first, "what made you want to be a Spanish teacher?"

Will shrugged, "It was plan B. I wanted to go to New York, study acting, I had this dream that maybe one day I could be on Broadway."

"What happened?" Shelby asked, surprised to have found someone with the same dreams she's once had.

"My dad died when I was 16, he'd been ill for a while so we'd been expecting it but my Mom took it hard, my brother was only 12 and I…" he shrugged, "I didn't know how he'd cope if I moved away, Mom's doing better now but she still has bad days, so I stayed here to make sure he was okay. What about you? What made you want to go into teaching?"

Shelby gestured to Rachel, "like you, I had other plans but then this one happened and I had to shelve those dreams and find something that would work around her."

"In that case" Will reached out his free hand to gently shake Rachel's hand, "thank you for being the reason I got to meet your Mom."

Rachel babbled nonsense up at Will and gave him a happy grin, "thank you" Shelby whispered, "for being so understanding. She's taken so well to you, it's… just thank you."

Will gently squeezed Shelby's hand, "you don't need to thank me Shelby."

They walked around the duck pond first, Will and Shelby not needing to speak, happy just to be in each other's company, but the silence between them was filled with Rachel's happy little shrieks as she pointed at the ducks, gurgling and babbling nonsense, occasionally looking up at Shelby or Will like she expected them to understand her. And they were only too happy to play along, both chatting back to her, asking questions and pretending they knew exactly what she was saying to them.

They were surprised to find the smaller of the park's two play areas completely empty, and they spent a while there, Rachel even going down the slides, both on Will's knee and Shelby's knee, rocking on the wooden shapes attached to the ground by large springs, until Shelby saw the girl was getting tired and tucked her back into the sling as she walked over to the swingset, knowing it would help rock Rachel to sleep.

"You asked about Rachel's dad" Shelby said softly as she rocked back and forth on the swing with her daughter against her chest.

"You don't have to tell me" Will said quickly as he sat on the swing beside Shelby, "it's none of my business."

"I don't mind" Shelby shrugged, "I think I'm going to be honest with Rachel if she asks about it when she's older so…" she shrugged again, "I haven't told my Dad or my brother though, I don't think they'll understand they just know her father isn't in the picture".

"Okay" Will reached out and took Shelby's hand, "you can tell me as much or as little as you like."

"She wasn't meant to be mine" Shelby whispered, her gaze focused on the top of Rachel's head, "like you, I wanted to go to New York, I wanted to study musical theatre but I couldn't afford it, I barely had enough for the plane there, and then one day I saw an ad in the paper, a gay couple wanted someone to be a surrogate for them. Before I was even pregnant I signed a contract to say that I'd have no contact with the baby until he or she turned 18 unless they found me first, and they signed an agreement to pay me a hell of a lot of money. And then she was born, she was absolutley tiny and so, so sick. She was born just after 9pm and the doctors weren't even sure she'd make it to morning. They didn't even see her. They left a note on my bed while I was showering, "_sorry, we only wanted a healthy baby, we've torn up the contract and signed our rights over to you but we'll still pay you_."" she summarised the note the men had left for her. "I was terrified, she was so small, so sick, and I wasn't ready to raise a baby, I'd spent so long trying not to get attached to her and then suddenly she was mine, I was the one spending days at a time by her incubator begging her to keep fighting and I was on my own. I wouldn't change it, change her for the world though, I don't know how I ever thought I'd be able to give her away, I know her prematurity has had a big impact on her, that she's not the same baby she would have been if she was born at full term but I, selfishly, I'm glad that she was early because that's what made her mine, and I will fight as many battles for her as I need to to make sure that she's always happy and healthy."

"Oh Shelby" Will gently squeezed her hand, "I'm sorry they did that. I mean, I'm not sorry that you got to raise her because you obviously love her so much, but I'm sorry they just abandoned her like that. It must have been tough for you to deal with all that on your own."

"It was a tough few months" Shelby nodded, she hadn't spoken to anyone about this since Rachel had come home, hadn't even told her brother or her father the truth about Rachel's father. "The relief when I got her home was more than I ever imagined, but she, she's so perfect, it was awful, but if I had the chance to go back and make the choice again, I'd still do it, I could have walked away, I could have said she wasn't my problem, she wasn't my daughter, but she is, and all the worry, all the sleepless nights, I'd do them all time and time again if I got her at the end of it."

"I'm glad" Will said softly, gently squeezing Shelby's hand again, "she deserves you, deserves someone who's going to love her exactly how she is, someone who's willing to fight for her, not someone who's going to walk away the second things get tough."

"It's been hard" Shelby sighed, "it's been so hard and I, I thought I was on my own, I thought it would always just be me and Rachel and it's harder than I thought to get used to the idea that I have other people who love Rachel, who want to support her and fight for her just as much as I do."

"I can imagine." Will gently stroked his thumb over the back of Shelby's hand, "but you've both got people willing to fight your corner, it's not just Rachel."

"I know" Shelby squeezed Will's hand before letting go so she could reach up to wipe away the few tears that had slipped from her eyes. She looked down at Rachel, "she's asleep, do you…" she glanced at her watch, "it's a bit early for lunch, do you want to get brunch? Or maybe just a coffee and we can get lunch later?"

"Yeah" Will smiled, "coffee sounds good, I know a deli that does the best sandwiches, we could go there for lunch later if you want? My treat."

Shelby nodded and smiled, taking Will's hand again as she stood from the swing, "that sounds like a plan to me."


	10. Chapter 10

I feel like it's been forever since I updated but I have mega writer's block at the minute that's making writing anything a struggle, so if you have any ideas, either for this fic or for a Shelby/Rachel oneshot or whatever, anything that might get me writing again, feel free to let me know!

I hope this is okay.

* * *

They walked the long way to the cafe in the park, fingers entwined, happy smiles on their faces as they strolled around the large lake.

"What are you having?" Shelby asked as they walked inside, Will holding open the door for her.

"I'll get it" Will took out his wallet when he saw Shelby take her card from her pocket.

Shelby shook her head, "if you're getting lunch I'm paying now" she told him.

Will laughed and put his wallet away, holding up his hands in mock surrender, "a flat white please" he smiled.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Shelby asked, gently rubbing Rachel's back when she felt her stir slightly.

"No, I'm good thanks" he smiled, waiting until Shelby had placed the order and paid before telling her, "go sit down, I'll wait for these."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive" Will nodded.

Shelby smiled and stood on tiptoes to gently kiss his cheek, "thank you."

Will carried the drinks over once they were ready, choosing to sit on the small couch beside Shelby and not in one of the two chairs opposite her, "okay?" he asked.

Shelby smiled and nodded, shuffling closer to Will, hoping he'd get the hint. "yeah, I'm fine".

Will did take the hint, stretching his arm along the back of the couch, letting Shelby tuck herself into his side before he draped his arm around her shoulder and kissed her hair, "comfy."

Shelby nodded, "is this okay?" she asked, me sitting like this?"

"I wouldn't have let you do it if it wasn't" Will reassured her.

Comfortable silence fell between them, and as much as she tried to fight it, Shelby found herself struggling to keep her eyes open. Rachel had had a bit of a rough night, waking a couple of times to protest at the fact she was cutting a new tooth, and then she'd been up and ready to start her day at 5.30, happy and cheerful like she hadn't spent half the night whining and chewing on Shelby's fingers. Shelby tried to stay awake, knew the coffee shop at the park wasn't the ideal place to take a nap but Will was so warm and she felt so comfortable with her head on his chest, so, safe in his arms and with the quiet thud of his heartbeat echoing in his ear, Shelby slowly drifted to sleep.

"I remember those days" an elderly lady smiled softly as she saw the two of them cuddled together on the couch, "taking the chance to sleep when the little one does no matter where you are."

Will frowned as the woman walked away before glancing down at Shelby, smiling when he realised she was fast asleep. He didn't want to but he knew he had to, that she'd be more comfortable sleeping at home, "Shelby" he whispered, gently stroking her arm, not wanting to startle her and wake Rachel, "Shelby, it's time to wake up."

"Mmm, wha…" Shelby's eyes fluttered open and she quickly sat up, cheeks flushing red as she realised she'd fallen asleep in the coffee shop, "on God, I'm so sorry Will, Rachel's teething and she didn't sleep well, and she's always up early and I…"

"Shelby" Will put his hand on her cheek to stop her, "it's okay" he reassured her, "let's get you home yeah?" he stood and gently pulled her to her feet, "you and Rachel can nap for a while before lunch."

"I…"

"You're a Mom" Will said softly, tucking a strand of Shelby's hair behind her ear, "you're a Mom and you're tired, so let's get you home. You can lay on the couch or you can go to bed, and if you'll let me, I'll keep an eye on Rachel so you can nap for an hour or two and then I'll take you out for lunch."

Shelby kissed Will's cheek, "you're too good to me" she told him.

Will shook his head, "you deserve to be taken care of Shelby, I know you'll always put Rachel first and I am absolutely okay with that, it won't stop me putting you first" he said as he gently took her hand and led her from the coffee shop.

They walked back to Shelby's in silence, Rachel still sleeping against her Momma's chest, Shelby's fingers linked with Will's until she had to let go so she could unlock her front door. "If you want to go…" Shelby said quietly feeling like she'd messed up by falling asleep in the coffee shop.

Will pushed his hands into his pockets awkwardly, not sure if that was Shelby's way of hinting that she wanted him to leave, "okay" he nodded, "I erm, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I, I'm sorry" she whispered, "and if you want to… if you don't want to do this anymore" she gestured between the two of them, "then I'll understand."

"You…" Will frowned, "you don't want to do this anymore?"

"No, I do, I really do like you Will" Shelby glanced down at Rachel, "but you walked in on Rachel having a meltdown and me about to join her on Friday, and I fell asleep on you, in public, today, if this is too much, if you… I wouldn't hold it against you if you wanted to walk away. If you wanted to be with someone easier than me, then I'd understand."

"Shelby" he took her chin, gently lifting it so she had no choice but to meet his gaze, "do you want this? Do you want me to take you for lunch later? Do you want to have dinner with me on Friday?" Shelby nodded and Will swiped his thumb under her eyes to catch her tears, "then let me show you I'm not going anywhere, let me watch Rachel, you go get some rest and when you wake we'll go get lunch. Together."

"Thank you" Shelby whispered before carefully lifting Rachel from the sling, kissing her head before handing her over to Will.

"It's not a problem" he said, beginning to rock Rachel when she stirred a little, Shelby's heart swelling with love when Will remembered without her reminding him that Rachel preferred being rocked forwards and backwards, not side to side. "Okay?" he asked when he saw her stood watching him with Rachel.

Shelby nodded even though she was reluctant to leave Rachel with Will, it wasn't that she didn't trust him, she did, but she still struggled to shake off the feeling that Rachel was her daughter so she shouldn't burden anyone else with her. She knew however, that if her relationship with Will was going to become serious, and she hoped it would, that she needed to let go a little, "she might be hungry when she wakes up" she told him as she watched him hold Rachel against his chest, gently stroking her back as she slept. "If she is, you can just give her a banana or something, break a little bit off and she'll feed herself, she won't eat all of it though and she might just play with it. And if she's cranky there's some teething gel in the cabinet in the downstairs bathroom, just put a little on your finger and rub it on her gums, or wake me if you'd rather I did it."

"Okay" Will nodded, "I can do all of that" he saw the look on Shelby's face, "we'll be fine Shelby, and on the off chance we aren't. Then you'll only be upstairs, I promise to come and wake you up if I have any problems at all, now…" he stepped closer, shifting Rachel against his chest to hold her with one hand, cupping Shelby's cheek with the other, "go get some rest" he pecked her lips, "and when you wake, I'll take you both out for lunch."

Shelby nodded, Will's hand still on her cheek, "I really appreciate this Will, thank you" she kissed him again.

"I know you do" Will smiled before gently pushing Shelby in the direction of the stairs, "now go nap, we'll be just fine."

Shelby took a couple of steps towards the stairs before gently reaching for Will's hand, "is it too soon to ask you to lay with me for a while?" she asked nervously, "just until I fall asleep."

"Sure" Will nodded, he had to admit, knowing that Shelby felt comfortable enough to fall asleep in his arms in the coffee shop was a nice feeling. "But just til you fall asleep, then I'll bring Rachel back down here so she doesn't disturb you when she wakes."

Shelby nodded and linked her fingers with Will's, "thank you" she said softly as she led him up the stairs to her bedroom.

Shelby stepped into the bathroom once they were upstairs to change from her jeans, pulling on her pyjama bottoms so she would be comfortable, "come on" Will used the hand he wasn't using to hold Rachel to pull back the covers, "in you get."

Shelby slipped under the duvet, smiling when Will joined her, "are you sure you're going to be okay with her?" she asked, rolling onto her side and gently stroking Rachel's back.

Will kissed Shelby's forehead, "we'll be just fine, and if for whatever reason we aren't, I'll come and wake you, but for me to wake you, you need to go to sleep, so close your eyes and take a nap."

"Yes sir" Shelby chuckled, shuffling closer to Will and tucking herself into his side as she closed her eyes and slowly drifted to sleep.

Will didn't mean to fall asleep, he'd planned to stay with Shelby until she'd fallen asleep and then he was going to take Rachel downstairs, but he was so comfortable with Shelby laid against his side and Rachel on his chest that he couldn't stop himself dozing off too. He didn't sleep for long though, waking less than an hour later when Rachel began to stir and he kissed Shelby's temple before standing from the bed, grabbing a blanket from the crib to wrap around Rachel as he took her downstairs, settling on the couch with her in his arms, letting her wake in her own time.

"Hello" he gently tapped her nose when she yawned and tipped her head back to look up at him, "have you had a nice nap? Mommy's still napping, you've worn her out." Rachel babbled up at him, "yeah, she's asleep so you're stuck with me until she wakes up, but that's okay isn't it?" Rachel gurgled and yawned again, "you didn't cry" he chuckled, "so I'm going to take it that you agree, we'll be just fine until Mommy wakes up."

He gave Rachel time to wake up, the baby happy to snuggle with him for a while but eventually she began to get restless and wanted to play. It was then that Will took her into the kitchen, quickly learning that Rachel didn't like being sat in her high chair, so he sat at the table, holding Rachel on his knee as she spent more time smushing banana between her fingers than she did actually eating the fruit.

"I think we need to clean you up a bit don't we?" he chuckled once she began getting restless again, spotting a packet of baby wipes on the side and cleaning her face and hands free of mushed banana, "go on then" he put her on the floor when she began to squirm, "off you go."

Rachel giggled happily as she crawled through to the living room and she sat back on her heels when she reached the bookcase, fingers curling around the spine of a picture book as she pulled it from the bottom shelf, the shelf Shelby used solely for Rachel's books. She clutched at the book and babbled up at Will, "Okay" he lowered himself to sit on the floor, "seeing as you asked so nicely" he chuckled as Rachel climbed onto his lap, making herself comfortable so Will could read to her.

Shelby slept for almost two hours before waking with a jump. She rubbed sleepily at her eyes as she tried to work out why she was in bed without Rachel, the baby usually sleeping right beside her, but then it hit her, she'd fallen asleep at the coffee shop and Will had all but forced her to take a nap while he watched Rachel.

She used the bathroom and changed back into her jeans before making her way downstairs, her steps quickening as she heard Rachel shriek, but she froze at the bottom of the stairs, just watching when she realised Rachel wasn't in danger. She was crawling round on the living room floor, that wasn't unusual, but this time, Will was crawling behind her and every now and again, Rachel would stop, glance over her shoulder and shriek with laughter before crawling off again when she saw Will was still behind her.

"I'm not sure which of you is having more fun here" she finally made her presence known.

"Oh, Rachel's definitely just playing along for my sake" Will laughed as he scooped Rachel up into his arms, swung her into the air and blew a raspberry on her stomach before passing her to Shelby. "She's napped, she's had some banana, she's had some gel rubbed on her gums, I've changed her diaper and now she's full of giggles" he smiled as he reached out to tickle her stomach, "see" he smiled as Rachel laughed and batted at his hand

"Thank you" Shelby smiled, you really didn't have to change her diaper though, you should have woken me."

"The whole point of me watching her was so you could take a nap, she was only wet, I didn't mind."

"Thank you" Shelby kissed Will's cheek.

"Any time, how was your nap? Did you sleep well?"

"I did, I feel a lot better now, thank you."

"Good, I'm glad, do you want to go out for lunch now or…?"

Shelby's stomach rumbled, "I think that's probably a good idea" she chuckled.

"Okay" Will smiled as he reached for his jacket, "let's go."

Rachel was once again settled against Shelby's chest as they walked, hand in hand, to the deli where Will wanted to get lunch. Once she'd chosen what she wanted, Will sent Shelby to sit down, Shelby managing to convince Rachel to sit in a highchair at the table, keeping her entertained with some toys she kept in her bag."I got veggie sticks with hummus and some apple slices for Rachel, "I didn't know if you wanted to get her anything so…" Will wasn't sure if he'd overstepped a line or not by ordering food for the baby.

Shelby smiled, "I was just going to give her some of my sandwich, but she'll love that, thank you."

"Are you sure? If you'd rather not give them to her then I won't be offended" he said as he sat down.

"No, it's fine honestly, she likes having a choice of things to pick at" Shelby said, tearing off a little of her sandwich and placing it on the tray of the highchair, opening the veggie sticks and laying them out too alongside the pot of hummus, "this is going to get messy isn't it?" Shelby raised an eyebrow when Rachel's fingers reached straight for the dip.

"It looks that way" Will chuckled as Rachel sucked at her fingers, frowning slightly at the new taste.

"Luckily I'm prepared for everything" Shelby said as she pulled a wide toweling bib from her bag and pulled it over Rachel's head, "there we go kid, do your worst."

Will laughed as Rachel giggled, "I think she's going to take that as a challenge."

"Yeah" Shelby rolled her eyes as Rachel began taking the sandwich apart as if she was inspecting the contents, "I think she probably is."


	11. Chapter 11

I am so, so sorry that it's been so long. I thought this whole lockdown thing would give me more time to write, but it turns out that, with other members of my family being home, the opposite is actually true. I am hoping that the next chapter will be done in a matter of weeks and not months though!

Spawn - Thank you for the suggestion, I've used it in this chapter, and the storyline will continue into the next chapter too, I hope you like it!

Lovetoread66 - Thank you for your suggestion too, that's definitely something I can include in a future chapter, so keep your eyes peeled!

Savageverse - I was born in Britain. My Parents and my Grandparents were born in Britain. My first language is British English. I was educated in the English school system and I have a linguistics degree from an English University. The devices I write on all have the language for spell check/autocorrect set as 'English (UK)'. So it's going to be almost impossible for me to '_stop writing so British_', just like it would be hard for a native French/Urdu/Mandarin/whatever speaker to stop writing in their native language just because a stranger on the internet tells them to. If you'd like to provide some more constructive feedback, perhaps by telling me which parts of my writing are 'too British' and how I can change that, then I will be more than happy to take that on board. Otherwise, if my British way of writing is that distracting for you, you are more than welcome to skip over my fics and read something else.

* * *

Shelby and Will's relationship continued to flourish over the next few weeks. Despite Dan's teasing, he was ultimately supportive of his sister's new relationship, kissing her cheek as she left for her date, reassuring her that Rachel would be fine and telling her to have a good night and not to worry about what time she'd be home.

Will was waiting outside his own home when Shelby pulled up, telling her, "if you're picking me up to save me from being grilled by your brother, the least I can do is save you from the same from my Mom" placing a kiss to her cheek as he settled himself into the passenger seat and fastened his seatbelt

Shelby knew Will had booked them a table for dinner, but she hadn't expected him to direct her across town to one of the best restaurants in Lima, "Will" she frowned as she pulled into a parking space. "This is…"

"I asked when I booked the table" he reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "there are plenty of dairy free options and the chefs are happy to do what they can to make any of the other dishes work for you."

Shelby smiled and took his hand, squeezing it slightly, "thank you."

"Come on" Will smiled, leaning over to kiss Shelby gently, "let's get inside." He took Shelby's hand as they walked through the parking lot, holding open the door for her once they reached the restaurant. He was the perfect gentleman, pulling out Shelby's chair for her and ordering a bottle of alcohol free champagne as they were left to browse the menu. "You look amazing" he told her as they sat opposite each other, "not that you don't always look great but…"

"It's okay" Shelby chuckled, blushing slightly at the complement, "it's not often I get the chance to put something nice on, it's usually something Rachel's wiped her dinner down."

Will smiled, "we could erm, we could do this again if you want, I mean I know you won't want to leave Rachel every weekend but…"

"It's okay" Shelby reached for Will's hand across the table, "you're right, I don't want to leave Rachel too often but I, I wouldn't be against us spending more time together without her."

They'd spent a while making out in the car at the bottom of Will's street at the end of the evening before they'd finally said goodnight to one another and Shelby drove home to find Dan dozing on her couch with Rachel sleeping against his chest.

Dan stirred as he heard the door click and smiled over at his sister, "how was your date?" he asked as he stretched slightly, trying not to disturb the baby sleeping against his chest.

"It was good, how was Rachel? Is she okay?" Shelby was slightly worried by the fact her daughter wasn't in her crib.

"She's fine" Dan glanced at his watch, seeing it was almost midnight, "she woke about an hour ago, I gave her a bottle and her cheeks looked a bit red so I put some teething gel on her gums and she fell asleep again with no trouble. As did I apparently" he chuckled as Shelby sat beside him on the couch and he carefully passed Rachel over, "now" he wrapped his arm around Shelby's shoulder, "put that fierce Momma bear back in her cage now you know your cub's safe and tell me how your date went."

"It was good" Shelby nodded before kissing Rachel's hair, smiling as Rachel snuggled into her. "And you don't need to worry, he was the perfect gentleman, he held doors for me, pulled out my chair, he wouldn't even let me split the bill with him."

"I'm glad to hear it" Dan smiled, "I mean it Shel" he pecked her cheek, "you deserve someone who's going to make you happy."

Shelby and Will continued to spend more time together outside of college, Will spent most weekends with Shelby and Rachel. He'd yet to spend the night at Shelby's but he didn't mind that, he understood that Rachel shared Shelby's bed and he was happy to take things at Shelby's pace, and, although he hadn't spent the night, the three of them had spent several lazy afternoons napping together in Shelby's bed.

Rachel was getting more used to Will being around, she still had odd moments where she'd refuse to even look at him, but more often than not, she was happy to see him. Shelby was amazed, not only was Rachel content to share her with Will, but Will seemed just as happy to share her with Rachel, he understood if she took a raincheck on their plans because Rachel was having a bad day and, if Will was making plans, he'd always plan for something they could do with Rachel too. She was slowly beginning to accept that she wasn't on her own anymore, she knew that, if it came down to it, she'd choose Rachel over Will in a heartbeat but she was beginning to loosen up a little, she no longer worried or felt guilty if she left Rachel with Will so she could shower or make dinner and she loved seeing the bond between Rachel and Will grow.

"What on earth is that?" Shelby asked as she saw Will walking down her driveway with a large box and a bag of multicoloured plastic balls.

"Well" Will set the box down in the hallway, "I saw how much Rachel liked the ball pit at that place we took her to last weekend, so I thought she might like one of her own."

Shelby laughed and rolled her eyes, "I'm sure she'll love it, thank you" she kissed Will softly once he'd taken off his shoes and hung up his jacket, "look who's here Kid" Shelby smiled as she walked through to the living room where Rachel was sat playing with a set of stacking rings, more content with banging the plastic disks together than trying to stack them on the stand.

Once she heard her Mommy's voice, Rachel dropped them instantly so she could crawl over to her. "Hello" Will reached out to gently tickle Rachel's chin as Shelby lifted her up, "you're a happy little thing aren't you?" he asked as she babbled happily.

"Will's got you a present" Shelby gently bounced Rachel on her hip, "can you say thank you?"

Rachel giggled and babbled nonsense, "eh, close enough" Will smiled, "shall we go and set this up?"

Shelby gestured to the open space in front of the couch, "knock yourself out, do you need a screwdriver or anything? I don't know what you need to put a ball pit together" she said as she sat on the floor, standing Rachel in front of her, the toddler clinging to her hands as she stood between her legs.

Will shook his head, "the pool just pops up and then you tip the balls in, I thought it would be easier than something solid, so you can put it away when she's done."

"Thank you, I appreciate you not turning my living room into a play centre" she teased as Will used his keys to slice open the tape on the box.

"Oooh!" Rachel's eyes opened wide in excitement as Will let the pool pop open and set it down on the floor.

"What is it?" Shelby asked her, "shall we go see?" She kept hold of Rachel's hands, helping her keep her balance as she toddled unsteadily towards the pool before bending her knees, her way of letting Shelby know she didn't want to be standing any more.

"There we go" Will emptied the balls into the pool before frowning when he saw how few there actually were, "looks like I'm going to have to get some more of those."

"I'm sure that's plenty for her" Shelby smiled as she lifted Rachel over the side, sitting her amongst the balls, "and anyway, she'll be able to crawl and play in those, she's not going to sink like she does in the bigger one at the play place."

"That's true" Will smiled, watching as Rachel crawled around the small pool, giggling and shrieking at the balls.

"Thank you" Shelby kissed Will as he sat beside her, "you don't have to buy her things though, I don't expect you to…"

"I know you don't expect anything Shelby, I was in Walmart, I saw it and I thought Rachel might like it so I got it. Not because I thought you'd expect me to buy it for her. If I didn't want to get it or I couldn't afford it then I wouldn't have done it" he said as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close as they sat on the floor to watch Rachel play.

They managed to drag Rachel away from the ball pit long enough to go for a short stroll at lunchtime, grabbing a sandwich in their favourite cafe before heading back to Shelby's, where Rachel crawled straight back over to her new favourite toy as soon as Shelby put her down, the baby glancing over at the adults, waiting for one of them to lift her over the side so she could play.

Rachel amused herself for a while before holding out a ball towards Will. "Have you found a blue one?" he asked. Rachel giggled and held out another ball, "and a yellow one?" Rachel giggled again.

"You shouldn't have started that" Shelby chuckled, "you're going to be going all afternoon" she laughed as Rachel held up a red ball and giggled excitedly.

"She'll get bored eventually… won't she?"

"She's stubborn like her Mom" Shelby winked, "I wouldn't hold your breath."

"Oh" Will laughed, "well I could be in for a long afternoon then" he said before telling Rachel, "that's another red one." He noticed the look he was getting from Shelby, "I mean you're not stubborn at all."

Shelby laughed and shook her head, "smooth Schuester, real smooth." Her attention was distracted by a knock at the door, "I wonder who that could…" she froze when she heard the door open, there were only two people who'd let themselves into her house, her Dad and her Brother.

"It's only me love, I was just passing and…"

"It's my Dad" Shelby told Will as Rachel clapped excitedly as she heard the man's voice, reaching out for someone to lift her from the ball pit so she could find him.

"Oh" Shelby's Dad walked into the room just in time to see Will lift Rachel into his arms and then put her down when she squirmed, the girl heading straight for her grandfather, "I didn't realise you had company I'll…"

"No, it's okay, I'll get off" Will pushed himself to his feet as Rachel was scooped into her grandfather's arms, squealing happily as he swung her into the air before blowing a raspberry on her belly.

It took Shelby a moment to find her voice but she closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath, "neither of you have to leave, I suppose it was inevitable that the two of you would meet eventually, Will, this is my Dad, Dad, this is Will, my boyfriend."

Will tried to hold back his smile, it was the first time he'd heard Shelby refer to him as her boyfriend, "it's nice to meet you" Will held out his hand.

"Likewise" Shelby's dad shifted his hold on Rachel to shake Will's hand firmly. There was an awkward moment of silence before he spoke again, focusing his attention on his granddaughter, "so kid, how about we get your Mom to put your car seat in my car and get your diaper bag so we can go find some mischief to get into and Mommy and Will can do whatever it is they might want to do if you weren't here to disturb them."

"Dad!" Shelby gasped.

"Oh please, you've got a child Shelby" the man rolled his eyes, still unaware of the finer details surrounding Rachel's conception. "Now, jump to it" he handed her his car key, "Pop-pop wants to spoil his little Princess."

Shelby knew she wasn't going to win this argument, "I thought I was your princess" she pouted as she took his car key and grabbed her own so she could move Rachel's car seat.

"You're my big Princess" he winked, watching as Shelby left the house before turning to Will. "You can relax" he told him, "I'm not going to warn you off or threaten to kill you if you hurt her or anything like that, I don't have a shotgun either. As much as I hate to admit it, Shelby's an adult and if this is what she wants then that's not for me to say otherwise." He put Rachel down when she began to fidget, letting her crawl back over to her toys before telling Will, "I will ask you to look after her though, to look after both of them, Shelly isn't always as tough as she thinks she is, especially not after everything that went on with Rachel, so just, just take care of her."

"I will Sir" Will nodded, "she means a lot to me, they both do and I, I'd never intentionally hurt them."

"I'm glad to hear it, but less of the Sir please, my name's Jerry. Now, I don't suppose you happen to know where Shelby's put that little Monster's jacket?"


	12. Chapter 12

As much as I love the little family Shelby, Will and Rachel are becoming, I sort of missed Rachel and Shelby being on their own, but I think this chapter makes up for that!

Savageverse- I don't know what you mean by 'Its weel be off not gone off' but I used the search function on the fic and found no instances of the phrase 'gone off' in this fic. And the Mum/Mom thing is something I am incredibly conscious of as I'm writing, and again, I used the search function on the entire story to find where I'd slipped up and again, found zero instances of the word 'mum', so thanks but I'm already aware of that.

Gwennie49 - I'm glad it's not just me, and I don't even get to do things I want to do because someone else gets in first. I walked into the living room the other day to find my Gran had pulled all the wallpaper off because she wanted me to deorate the room for her! And thank you for your support, as much as I might like to given the current state of things, I can't change my nationality, I write how I write, if someone pointed out something big then I'd take that into account but just telling me not to write in my native language isn't really helpful!

* * *

"Does your Dad really think we're going to have sex while Rachel isn't here?" Will asked as he sat on the couch with Shelby, the woman tucked into his side, her legs draped over his as they shared soft kisses.

Shelby shrugged, "probably."

"We could…"

"No" Shelby shook her head, quickly explaining herself when she saw Will's face fall, "it'll be your first time" she told him, gently cupping his cheek with her palm, "I want your first time to be special, I don't want it to be something we do just because my Dad's taken Rachel out for an hour or two."

"If it's with you then it will be special" Will told her.

Shelby smiled and tipped her head to kiss Will again, "Charmer" she teased, "but let's do it because we want to, because we're ready, not because we've got a few hours to ourselves. There are plenty of other things we can do instead."

"Hypothetically" Will slipped his hand under Shelby's shirt to rest in the small of her back, "if I told you I was ready, what would you say?"

Shelby chuckled, "I'd tell you I went to planned parenthood last week" she saw Will frown, not understanding the relevance, "to talk about birth control, with Rachel and everything else I'm not sure I trust myself to remember to take a pill every morning. We talked about my options and I got a shot. It lasts for three months, so I'd tell you that, when you're ready, so am I."

"I erm, I bought condoms" Will blushed slightly.

"Well then" Shelby stole another kiss, "we're all set. There's no rush for this Will, I'm not going anywhere."

Will had gone home by the time Shelby's dad brought Rachel back, neither adult surprised that Rachel almost flung herself into her Momma's arms as soon as she saw her. "Hey Kid" she smiled, balancing Rachel on her hip as she took off her jacket, thanking her dad as he took off Rachel's shoes, "have you had a good time with Pop-pop?"

Rachel babbled quietly, "someone fell asleep before we'd made it to the end of the street" Shelby's dad chuckled, "so Pop-pop got coffee from the drive thru and sat in the parking lot at Starbucks for nearly an hour."

"You should have brought her back here Dad, you didn't have to do that."

Jerry waved his hand dismissively, "it's fine, and anyway, we met Uncle Dan, Auntie Katie and Jake at the park when you woke didn't we?" he reached out to tickle Rachel's stomach.

"Are you coming through?" Shelby gestured to the living room, making her way over to the couch when her Dad nodded. Shelby wasn't at all surprised when her attempt to sit Rachel on the floor by her toys was met with a whine so she settled down with the baby on her lap. "So…" Shelby looked to her dad.

"So?"

"So, I know you're going to have questions."

"Just one" Jerry said honestly, "is he good to you? To both of you?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "he is, he turned up today with that" she gestured to the ball pool, "we took her to the play place last weekend, you know the place Jake had his birthday party?" Jerry nodded, "Rachel loved the ball pool and he said he saw that at Walmart and thought she'd like it. We met at college, he kept asking me if I wanted to get coffee after class, I kept turning him down and eventually I told him about Rachel, said I wasn't what he wanted. He told me he'd known about her for a while and it didn't bother him. That if I wanted, it could just be two friends having coffee."

"And Rachel likes him?"

Shelby nodded, "she has her moments, but she's like that with everyone, she has times when I'm the only person she wants. He… He came round one night, not long after we'd decided that we could maybe be more than friends, he wanted to take us both out for dinner but I said Rachel didn't settle if she got out of her routine and invited him round here instead, said I'd cook for us. I didn't realise at the time but daycare had given Rachel dairy. She was screaming nonstop, when I answered the door I was close to tears and he, he just walked in and asked what I needed him to do. He ordered pizza so I didn't have to cook, and when I realised what was wrong and gave Rachel her medication, when she'd calmed down he even sat with her so I could shower. "

Jerry smiled and gently squeezed Shelby's arm, "sounds like you've got a keeper there love."

Shelby smiled and nodded, "yeah, I hope so."

Jerry didn't stay for much longer, he knew Rachel got clingy when she'd been away from Shelby for a while and he wanted to give the two of them some time together before Shelby put Rachel to bed. Shelby took Rachel into the kitchen to make a start on dinner after seeing her father out, she was expecting the whine and the cry as she put Rachel into her highchair, although the girl was getting better about spending time away from her Mom, she was always clingy for a little while when they were reunited. "It's okay, I'm not going anywhere" she reassured her as she fastened the straps to secure her into the chair, "I'm just making dinner, I'll be right here."

She was half expecting the shriek and the sound of Rachel's hands smacking against the tray of the highchair as she turned away from her, but she wasn't expecting what came next, would never have predicted the next sound that fell from her daughter's lips, a very clear, firm, "no!"

Shelby froze, turning on her heel to face her daughter, "did you just…" she shook her head, "she's your daughter" she mumbled to herself, "of course that was her first word." She quickly scooped Rachel into her arms, "you definitely know what you want don't you kid?" she chuckled as Rachel nuzzled into her, "can you say it again? No. No?" Rachel babbled and began chewing on her fingers, "no, of course you won't say it just because I want you to you stubborn little thing" Shelby chuckled, "come on, let's find something we can have for dinner."

Shelby found leftovers in the refrigerator that she managed to put in the microwave with one hand, allowing her to keep hold of Rachel even though she was half tempted to put her back in her highchair to see if it would make her speak again.

Once they'd eaten, Shelby went upstairs, she and Rachel often took a bath together when the girl was being clingy and she decided that that was a good plan today, they could bathe togeter and then, although it was still early, they could get in bed and snuggle for a while, Rachel wanted her Momma and Shelby would never say no to having some quiet time with her baby.

She turned on the water and added some bubbles before carrying Rachel through to her bedroom and sitting her on the bed, "It's okay" she cooed when, predictably, Rachel began to whine, "I'm going to stay right here" she said, continuing to talk to her daughter as she undressed, "see, I didn't go anywhere" she dipped her head to rub noses with Rachel, "now let's get you undressed and grab some towels."

Rachel giggled excitedly as she sat on Shelby's knees amongst the bubbles, one hand clutching her Mommy's fingers, the other free to grab at the bubbles and reach for the toys Shelby had thrown into the water. "What have you got?" Shelby asked, gently bouncing her knees, "have you got your duck?" She knew that talking to Rachel would help with the baby's own language development, and it was something she'd done as often as she could, even when Rachel was just a tiny little thing covered in a mass of tubes and wires, she'd always spoken to her, about anything and everything.

They stayed in the bath until the water began to cool, Shelby quickly washing them both before wrapping them up in the towel she'd left warming on the radiator. "I know" she began to dry Rachel off, "I know Pop-pop took you out this afternoon but you're home now, I just need to dry you and put a diaper on you and then we can snuggle, I promise."

It didn't take long for Shelby to tape a diaper onto the wriggling girl and she chuckled as, once Shelby let her go, Rachel crawled up the bed to sit against the pillows, looking expectantly at her Mommy. "Is that better?" Shelby asked as she got into bed once she'd pulled on some underwear, "is this what you want?" Shelby sat up in bed, Rachel sat on her lap, chest to chest with her, mumbling quietly to herself. "What are you trying to tell me hey?" Shelby asked as she gently rubbed Rachel's back, "what's going on in that big brain of yours?"

Rachel looked up at Shelby inquisitively before laying her head back on her Mommy's chest, her hand splashing out across the top of Shelby's breast, tiny fingers gently stroking her skin. "Oh baby" Shelby kissed the top of Rachel's head, unable to believe how much love she felt for the girl in her arms. Rachel nuzzled against her and Shelby tightened her hold slightly, "y'know" she whispered as she gently ran her hand down Rachel's back, "whenever you want to lay on me like this, it always makes me think of the first time I got to hold you. Having you in my arms, feeling your skin against mine, it made it all so real. It was like something clicked inside me and made me realise that you were mine. You were so, so tiny, you were still attached to so many machines and I was absolutely terrified that I'd hurt you just by holding you. But you were stronger than I knew. You've always been so strong, so brave. You've been through so much but you kept fighting, whenever I thought you were done you just kept going and I'm so glad you did" she kissed the top of Rachel's head, "it might not be exactly how I imagined my life going but I'm so glad that I got you, that I get to be your Mommy and, I promise, no matter whatever happens in the future, whatever might be ahead of you, I'm going to be right there Kid, I'd give up everything for you."

They sat in near silence for a while, Rachel gurgling quietly to herself before she tipped her head back and grinned up at Shelby. "Oh Kid" Shelby laughed and wiped at her eyes before dropping her head and rubbing noses with her daughter, smiling when Rachel reached out to rest her hand on Shelby's cheek, "I don't know if you understand what I'm saying to you, but I love you" she told her, "I love you so much more than I ever thought it possible to love another person."

Rachel stayed nuzzled into Shelby for a while before she began to fidget, wriggling for a moment before kneeling on the bed between Shelby's legs, reaching out to cling to Shelby's hands as she slowly pulled herself to her feet, "careful" Shelby warned, "the bed isn't as solid as the floor." Rachel giggled as she bent and straightened her knees a few times, "oh, I see, you want to bounce do you?" Shelby chuckled, gently moving her hold from Rachel's hands to her waist, helping her bounce on the bed, unable to hold back her smile at the sound of Rachel's laughter, "start walking and I'll buy you a trampoline" she bargained, getting another giggle in response, "no, you're right kid, you just take your time, do it when you're ready."

With Shelby's hands on her waist, Rachel bounced on the bed, giggling and laughing happily until she decided she'd had enough and threw herself back into Shelby's arms, chewing on her fingers as she gazed up at her Mommy. "All done?" Shelby asked, getting a smile and a happy babble in response, "It's almost your bedtime kid, and you're all excited now aren't you?" She kissed Rachel's head and held the girl close, "I know what will make you sleepy, come on" she stood with Rachel in her arms, chuckling to herself when Rachel began to whine as Shelby reached into the crib. Rachel barely slept in there, most nights Shelby put her in her crib for a while when she first put her to bed, but she'd always move Rachel in with her when she went to bed. Not only did Rachel seem more settled if she slept with her Mommy, but it was much easier to feed Rachel, or let her nurse for comfort when she was being fussy, if the girl was laying right beside her. "I'm not putting you in there" Shelby reassured her, "I'm just getting a blanket and your paci so we can go cuddle for a bit. I'm going to go to bed when you do tonight" she said as she grabbed what she wanted from Rachel's crib and carried the girl into the nursery.

Rachel had yet to sleep in her own room, Shelby much preferring having her daughter close by, but she did frequently use the changing unit under the window and both she and Rachel loved the glider in the corner of the room. "Here we go" Shelby sat down, adjusting her bra to let Rachel feed before tucking the blanket around them both and beginning to rock on the comfy chair.

She hummed for a little while before quietly beginning to sing to her daughter, "_Two pounds and 4 ounces looking up at me, like I have all the answers, I hope I have the ones you need. I've never really done this, now I know what scared is_" Shelby didn't ever think she'd forget how terrified she was when she realised that the two men she'd meant to be a surrogate for were walking away from their child. That there was now a sick baby fighting for her life and relying on Shelby for everything.

"_Sometimes I'll protect you from everything that's wrong, other times I'll let you just find out on your own. But that's when you'll be growing, and the whole time I'll be knowing_" Rachel pulled away from Shelby's breast and yawned, Shelby smiling as she wiped milk from the corner of her daughter's mouth before offering her the pacifier, holding it in place until Rachel began to suck at it, the baby tugging at her ear, a sure sign that she was getting tired and Shelby kissed her hair, still rocking gently as she continued to sing. "_You're gonna fly with every dream you chase, you're gonna cry, but know that that's okay. Sometimes life's not fair, but if you hang in there you're gonna see that sometimes bad is good, we just have to believe things work out like they should. Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me you're gonna be._"

"Sweet dreams Kid" Shelby whispered as Rachel's eyes fluttered shut, but Shelby didn't stop. She'd learnt her lesson the hard way when Rachel was younger, moving now would definitely wake Rachel, and if Rachel woke she'd be grumpy and cranky and even harder to settle, so Shelby continued to rock back and forth in the chair as she sang to the sleeping infant, "_I'm afraid you'll have to suffer through some of my mistakes. Lord knows I'll be trying, oh to give you what it takes. What it takes to know the difference between getting by and living 'cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way. Just know you'll have to live with all the choices that you make, so make sure you're always giving way more than you're taking.._."

Shelby stayed in the nursery until she was sure Rachel wouldn't wake when she stood up, and she carefully carried her back to her bedroom, flicking off all but a small side light and curling up under the covers with her baby. It wasn't even 8pm but Shelby didn't mind, she considered 10pm a late night now, this certainly wasn't the first time she'd gone to bed when Rachel did and she was sure it wouldn't be the last time. She kissed Rachel's head a final time, whispering her love for her daughter again before she let her own eyes close and quickly joined her daughter in dreamland.

* * *

Lyrics in italics are from 'You're Gonna Be' by Reba McEntire


	13. Chapter 13

I feel like I'm on a bit of a roll with this fic at the moment, although, now I've said that I'm probably going to hit a wall with it!

Savageverse - Nope.

OneWriterGirl97 - Thank you, it means a lot to hear you say that!

Chloe2007 - You might have a long wait on your hands, Shelby definitely deserves a 'Momma' first!

* * *

Shelby met her dad for coffee the next weekend. He'd said that Will was more than welcome to join them but Will had politely turned down the offer, wanting to give Shelby some time alone with her dad.

"She said her first word last week" Shelby smiled as she sat on a small loveseat opposite her father in a coffee shop near her house, Rachel stood up on the seat beside her grandfather, one hand on his shoulder, the other on the back of the couch to steady herself as she watched everything going on around her, occasionally laughing and bouncing on the seat.

"Yeah?" Jerry smiled, "that's great, what was it?"

Shelby bit her lip, "I'm not sure if I want to tell you" Jerry raised an eyebrow, "okay, before I tell you, I want you to know, I'm well aware that she's my daughter, and I'm also well aware that this is probably some sort of karma for all the attitude I gave you when I was younger."

"Shelby…"

"It was no" Shelby rolled her eyes.

"Oh, that's perfect" Jerry laughed, "she really is taking after you."

"No, no, no" Rachel babbled quietly around the fingers she'd slipped into her mouth, she'd repeated it a few times over the past week, and, whilst Shelby wasn't sure the girl really knew what it meant, she was still amused every time she heard it.

"You're a clever girl aren't you?" Jerry smiled before gently moving Rachel's fingers from her mouth, "don't do that" he said softly.

Rachel babbled happily at Jerry before frowning and reaching her arms out to Shelby, "what's wrong kid?" she asked as Jerry passed Rachel over, "I'm not going anywhere, I thought we agreed, you'd terrorise Pop-pop for a bit and leave me alone?" she kissed Rachel's head as she settled down on her lap.

"Is she okay?" Jerry asked as he watched Rachel cuddle into Shelby.

"I think so" she nodded, "she has moments like this sometimes, she can be playing happily on her own one minute and then the next she's trying to climb up the couch and clinging to me like she hasn't seen me in months."

"Bless her" Jerry couldn't help but smile as he watched Shelby comfort Rachel. He might never have imagined his daughter having a child of her own at 19, but there was no doubt in his mind that Rachel was lucky to have Shelby, that Shelby was completely devoted to her daughter. Shelby had always been determined, headstrong, so he'd been in no doubt that she'd give her everything to raising her daughter, he only wished that she'd let him in at the start, that when Rachel had been ill, Shelby hadn't tried to deal with it on her own. He watched as Shelby kissed the little fingers that reached out towards her before dipping her head to rub noses with Rachel, it was obvious just how much Rachel adored Shelby, but it was also clear that Shelby loved Rachel just as much.

"Did you remember to bring a bottle? He's going to need feeding soon and I don't want him screaming the place down." Jerry didn't pay attention to the conversation of the two men walking past their table, but it was obvious that Shelby did, Jerry concerned by the way her head snapped up almost violently, a look of anger, confusion and surprise on her face as she caught sight of the two men. One carrying a newborn in a car seat, the other carrying a tray with their drinks on. "Shelby" her eyes met with the man carrying the infant, "what…" Jerry saw Shelby's hold on Rachel tightening, he didn't know what was going on, but he was prepared to step in if he felt like Rachel or Shelby were in danger. "Is that her?"

Rachel tucked herself into Shelby, not liking the stranger's attention. "Who else would it be?" Shelby asked as she gently rubbed Rachel's back, reassuring her that she was okay.

"Leroy" the second man turned after setting the tray down on a table, "what are you… Shelby?"

It was at that moment that the baby Leroy was carrying woke and began to whine quietly, "you should go and feed him, you don't want him screaming the place down" she said coldly, shifting in the seat so her back was towards the two men, signalling the conversation was over.

Jerry watched Shelby for a moment but didn't say anything, he watched her keep Rachel close, as if she didn't want the two men to see the baby, how she looked as if she was on the verge of tears, "Shel" he said softly.

Shelby looked up at her father, "can we go?" she asked, "I'll tell you everything, just not here, can we go?"

"Of course" he nodded, helping Shelby into her jacket, "are you…" he gestured to the empty sling around Shelby's chest.

She looked from Rachel to the two men, seeing them watching her, "take her outside" she said gently as she passed her over, "I won't be a minute."

"Shelby…" he didn't know if that was a good idea.

"I'll be fine" Shelby kissed Rachel's hair.

"If you're sure" Jerry got a nod in response, "well then we'll be outside" he said as he carried Rachel out of the cafe.

"I never got the chance to thank you." Shelby said as she approached Hiram and Leroy.

Hiram frowned, "to thank us?"

"For being cowards, for walking away and…"

"It wasn't easy for us" Leroy told her, "we…"

"It wasn't easy for you?" Shelby spat, "you? Do you think it was easy for me? For… For her?" Hiram went to speak but Shelby held up her hand to stop him, "you told me how desperate you were for a child, how you'd give her everything she needed, how you'd give her the moon on a stick if she asked for it. But she didn't ask for anything. All she needed you to do was love her and be there for her and you couldn't even do that."

"It wasn't what we'd planned for" Shelby wanted to slap Hiram.

"And you think I planned to raise a child at nineteen?" she raised an eyebrow, "a child that only existed because you were so desperate for her. Do you think I planned to stay in Lima? To give up everything I ever wanted for a child YOU asked for. Do you think I planned to spend day after day sitting in the hospital, watching as my daughter fought for her life? Do you think I planned to leave the hospital every night not knowing if she'd still be hanging on when I got back in the morning? Because I'll tell you now, none of that was what I wanted, but it's what I did. It's what I did because it's what MY daughter needed me to do. I got into the shower at the hospital not knowing if the child I'd just given birth to was even alive and then I got out of the shower to find you didn't want her, you didn't love her enough to stick around when things were tough."

"We spoke to the nurses" Hiram told her, "they said that the adoption process would be…"

Shelby was furious, "what? So she could grow up and find out that three parents walked away from her when she was fighting for her life? Or that she could…" Shelby's voice cracked at the thought, "if she hadn't made it, she could have died on her own, just because you thought sitting with her every day was too hard."

"Shelby, we…"

"No" she cut them off, she wasn't going to listen to their excuses. "I'll tell you this though, that little girl is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Your cowardice, your disregard for a child that was meant to be yours, it's the best thing that could have happened for me and for her. She's going to grow up with a family who love her no matter what, who'll be there when things are tough as well as when they're going well. She will absolutely not miss out by not having you in her life, but you, you're going to miss out on so much. She is the happiest little thing and you have missed out every single day since you walked away, you've missed her smile, her laugh. You'll never know how it feels to have her fingers wrap around yours, to see her gazing up at you like you know the answers to everything. You'll never feel her snuggle into you when she's sleepy and you'll never get to wake up to the sound of her giggles. She has been loved and cared for from the very second I first got to see her, she hasn't missed out on anything. But you…" Shelby shook her head, "I hope he brings you even just half the joy that my daughter brings me" Shelby gestured to the baby in Leroy's arms, "and for his sake, I hope he's always healthy."

"Shelby" Leroy called after her as she turned to walk away. She turned to face him, one eyebrow raised, "what's her name?"

She laughed and shook her head, "I don't think that's any of your business, do you?"

"Are you okay?" Jerry asked as Shelby joined him outside, he'd watched his daughter speaking to the two men and could almost feel the anger radiating off her.

"Yeah" Shelby sighed, taking Rachel from her father and settling her in the sling, smiling when she saw her yawn. Seeing the two men again had angered her, but feeling her daughter snuggle into her was all she needed to feel calmer. "I'll tell you everything" she promised, "just not here."

Rachel was asleep by the time they arrived back at Shelby's, so she just left her in the sling, not wanting to risk waking her if she moved her. "You don't have to tell me anything, not if you don't want to" Jerry said, Shelby had been silent on the walk home and he didn't want to push her.

"She wasn't meant to be mine" Shelby whispered, running her hand down Rachel's back as she sat on the couch, "I, I wasn't meant to be the one raising her."

Jerry reached out to take his daughter's hand as he sat beside her, "you were going to have her adopted?"

Shelby shook her head, "she was meant to be theirs, Hiram and Leroy, I, they were looking for a surrogate, they were going to pay me enough so that I wouldn't have to worry for a while once I was in New York. I got to know them, they seemed like nice men, I thought they'd bring her up well, that they'd be good parents so I, I agreed and I signed a contract to say that, unless she found me, I wouldn't have any contact with her until she turned 18."

"What happened?"

"She was born" Shelby laughed bitterly. "I started having contractions at 28 weeks. I was terrified, but they took me to the hospital and they were with me all the time, they took it in turns to spend the night, they were always there, I couldn't ask for anything more. But then the doctors told me they didn't think they'd be able to stop it, but they might be able to delay the labour long enough that they could give me drugs that would help give her a better chance." She closed her eyes and kissed Rachel's crown as she tried to hold back her tears.

"Shelby…" she shook her head, if she stopped now she might never tell him, and she knew that he needed to know.

"They gave me steroids to help develop her lungs and something to try and prevent bleeds on her brain, that made me really ill, but they did all they could to make sure I was comfortable, and then, when she was born it happened really quickly, I don't really remember much about it apart from how quick it was and that she didn't cry, I just saw this tiny little thing being rushed out of the room, I didn't even know if she was alive or not" she whispered, stroking Rachel's back as if to remind herself that her daughter was safe, that she'd survived. "Hiram went with her and Leroy stayed with me. I didn't really notice it at the time, but looking back now they were both acting a bit weird, but nothing that couldn't be explained by the fact their daughter had been born eleven weeks early." Shelby took a shaky breath, reminding herself that Rachel was okay, that this had happened but they'd got through it. "Leroy left when I was settled in my room, I told him he could, I said I was fine and that he should be with Hiram and the baby. I think I slept for a little while and then a nurse came in and suggested I tried taking a shower so I did. And when I came back, there was a note on my bed."

"From them?"

Shelby nodded, "they told me they couldn't deal with it, that a sick baby wasn't what they wanted and if I didn't want to keep her then a nurse would explain the adoption process to me, I couldn't give her up Dad" Shelby made eye contact with him for the first time, "she'd grown inside of me, I couldn't just walk away, if I left she'd have nobody and I couldn't, I couldn't do that to her, she didn't ask to be born early, she didn't ask to be fighting for her life in a NICU when she should have been safe inside of me. I couldn't… It was almost midnight when I first got to see her and they told me" Shelby bit her lip and wiped at her eyes, "they told me they were doing all they could, but I should try and prepare myself for her not making it through the night. She was so tiny Dad, so sick and the men who were meant to love her, I found out later they didn't even see her. They asked Hiram to wait outside so they could get her settled in the NICU and when they went to fetch him in he was gone. She was meant to be their baby Dad and they just walked away, and now they've replaced her like she was nothing."

"Oh Shelby" Jerry pulled his daughter into his arms, careful not to disturb Rachel as he held Shelby as closely as she could. "I wish you'd have called me" he told her, "I wish you'd have let us support you."

"I didn't want Mom making a fuss" she whispered, "everything was so stressful and exhausting, I didn't think I could cope with her being there too."

"No" Jerry kissed Shelby's hair, "I understand. But for the record, I'm glad they walked away, they don't deserve Rachel." He was struggling to stay calm, he knew he needed to keep himself together for Shelby's sake, but he wanted nothing more than to go back to that coffee shop and ask those two fools what the hell they were playing at, why they thought it was acceptable to leave a teenager alone to deal with the shock of becoming a parent to a sick baby, but he wouldn't. Shelby needed him so he'd be the father they weren't and he'd support his daughter.

Shelby sniffled quietly and relaxed into her father's arms, "I know she's not hitting her milestones as quickly as she should, I know she might be delayed, she might have problems as she grows up, but that doesn't matter Dad, she's still perfect, she's still my perfect little girl.".

"She is" Jerry agreed, "and that's why they don't deserve her, Rachel deserves to be raised by someone who accepts her for who she is, who supports her and pushes her to be the best she can be regardless of any struggles or limitations she might have in the future."

"I just want her to be happy Dad, I want to do the best I can for her."

"And you are Princess, anyone who looks at the two of you can see how happy she is with you, when she's scared or overwhelmed, she looks straight for you because she knows you'll be there, she knows you'll protect her and keep her safe."

"I know this might not be the life I dreamed of, but I wouldn't give her up, not for all the lead roles on Broadway."

Jerry smiled, "you're a good Mom Shelby, and you're right, it might not be what you dreamed of doing, but if you want to give it a shot, Broadway will still be there when she's older, Dan and I, we'll support you whatever you choose to do, and you've got Will too" he winked playfully.

"I know" Shelby smiled, "but I think teaching will be it for me, Rachel and I, we spent most of her first year together, just the two of us, I don't think I'd want to do anything that took me away from her all day every day, at least with teaching I'll be home to tuck her into bed every night."

"She's lucky to have you Princess."

Shelby shook her head as she ran her hand down Rachel's back, "I'm the lucky one."


	14. Chapter 14

Savageverse - The answer's still no, please don't ask after every chapter.

Gwennie49 - Thank you, right now I have the inspiration, but I'm lacking any sort of motivation to just sit down and write!

* * *

Three days after telling her father the truth about Rachel's arrival in the world, Shelby found herself driving over to Will's after class, Rachel fast asleep in the back of the car.

"It'll be okay" Will promised, squeezing Shelby's hand as she pulled up outside his home. She hadn't particularly wanted to meet his Mom, convinced she'd judge her for being a young Mom, worried Rachel would be cranky because she'd be out of her routine, but Will had insisted, 'I've met your Dad, it's only fair that you meet my Mom.'

Rachel stirred as Shelby lifted her from her car seat, "it's okay" she whispered, kissing her hair, "It's only me."

Once in the house, Will helped Shelby from her jacket so she didn't wake Rachel before, with a little coaxing from Shelby, triumphantly removing Rachel's jacket without waking her. "Mom" he grinned when his Mother stepped into the hallway, "this is Shelby, and Rachel. Shelby, this is my Mom, Jane"

"Should she be napping at this time?" Jane asked bluntly without greeting Shelby.

"Mom" Will frowned.

"She always naps on the way home from daycare" Shelby didn't feel like she had to explain herself but she didn't want to start on the wrong foot with Will's Mom.

"You should stop it or she won't sleep at night."

"She sleeps fine, but thank you for your concern."

Will glared at his Mom, "is Josh home yet?"

"No. Not yet" she turned on her heels and walked back into the kitchen without another word.

"Maybe we should go" Shelby said quietly.

"No, no, the living room's through there" he gestured through a doorway, "make yourself comfortable, I'll get us some drinks and have a word with her."

The front door opened again as Shelby sat on the edge of the couch, ready to leave if Will's Mom didn't want her here, "oh, hey!" a teenager who looked a lot like Will poked his head into the room, "You must be Will's girlfriend… Shelly?"

"Shelby" she smiled, "and this is Rachel" she gestured to the sleeping baby.

"Shelby, sorry, I'm Josh, the cooler, younger, better looking brother" He smiled as Shelby laughed, "if anyone asks will you say I've just gone to jump in the shower? I've just had baseball practice and I didn't shower after because I didn't want to miss the bus."

"Sure" Shelby nodded as teen thanked her and headed upstairs.

"Did I hear the door?" Will asked as he came through a few moments later, placing two glasses of fruit juice on the coffee table.

"Yeah, your brother came home, he said to tell you he's gone to shower. Look, if your Mom… I mean, I don't want to be any trouble so if you want me to leave…"

"Absolutely not, I don't know what's wrong with her but you're my guest, she was okay with you coming over this morning, I don't see what's changed now."

"Okay" Shelby tucked herself into Will's side when he held out his arm, "but I don't want to make things awkward, so if you do want me to go…"

"I don't" Will kissed her hair, "I promise."

Rachel was beginning to wake when Josh came back downstairs, greeting Shelby again before flopping down in the armchair, the fourteen year old wasting no time in beginning to tell Shelby all the embarrassing stories about his brother that he could think of. Shelby could help but laugh at their antics, the relationship between Will and Josh reminding her of her relationship with her own brother.

Jane yelled for Josh to go and help her a little while later and he left Shelby and Will alone in the living room, Rachel gurgling to herself as Will kissed Shelby softly, "it'll be okay" he promised, sensing her nerves.

"I hope so" Shelby smiled.

They walked through to the kitchen hand in hand after Josh told them dinner was ready, Will pulling out a chair for Shelby at the small wooden table, Shelby grateful that she was sat between Josh and Will, "could I ask how you made the potatoes?" she asked as she gently bounced Rachel on her knee.

"With milk and butter, how else would I make them?" Jane rolled her eyes.

"She's put butter on the veggies too." Josh told Shelby, he remembered Will telling their Mom that Shelby and Rachel didn't eat dairy and didn't want either of them to eat anything that might make them ill.

"Mom" Will frowned, "I told you several times that Rachel and Shelby don't eat dairy because it makes Rachel ill."

Jane rolled her eyes again, "maybe if she fed her properly that kid would put some weight on."

Will saw Shelby's face fall, Rachel picking up on the tense atmosphere and nuzzling into Shelby, "Rachel was premature Mom, she…" he stopped when he felt Shelby's hand on his arm.

"I'm going to go" she told him, "thank you for inviting me over, and it was great to meet you Josh. Mrs Schuester…" Shelby didn't know what to say to the woman so she simply stood from the table, picking up their jackets on her way out, but not bothering to put them on as she carried Rachel out to the car.

"Are you happy now?" Will snapped as Shelby left.

"Very, you can do better than some slut looking for a man to raise someone else's child."

Will was momentarily stunned, "I can't believe you just said that. If you'd bothered to get to know Shelby for just five minutes, you'd realise just how independent she is" he said, leaving the room before his Mom could reply, racing out to the front yard, his heart breaking when he saw tears brimming in Shelby's eyes as she strapped Rachel into the car, "Shelby."

She shook her head, closing the back door of the car, "I'm sorry Will" she whispered, "I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"

She didn't give him a chance to respond as she got in the car and pulled off the driveway, not wanting him to see her when her tears started to fall.

Luckily, Will had waited patiently for Shelby to feed Rachel before they'd left daycare so Shelby knew the baby would be able to wait a little longer before she needed anything else. Not feeling up to cooking anything, Shelby used the hands free system in her car to place an order for takeout at one of her favourite restaurants, stopping to pick it up on her way home.

"Come on Kid" Shelby forced a smile as she lifted Rachel from the car, "let's eat and then we can have a bath and go to bed, Mommy could do with your cuddles tonight."

Shelby didn't even attempt to put Rachel in her highchair, she didn't want to, she wanted her daughter close so she simply let Rachel sit at her lap at the table, the baby not too interested in eating much of the food but happy to play with it and take the occasional bite after helping herself from her Mommy's plate.

They shared a bath together after they'd eaten, Shelby barely holding herself together, not wanting Rachel to see her upset. "I know" she gently tapped Rachel's nose as the baby gurgled at her as she dried her off after their bath, "I'm gonna miss him too, but we'll be okay. Me and you against the world kid, we've got each other and that's all that matters."

Rachel fell asleep quickly once she was laid against Shelby's chest, she nursed for a little while before taking her pacifier and drifting off to sleep, safe in her Mommy's arms. Shelby on the other hand wasn't so lucky, she laid in the darkness, her tears beginning to fall as she replayed the afternoon's events, trying to work out where it had all gone wrong.

Shelby frowned slightly and rolled over to check the time on her phone when she heard a knock at her door, it was a little after 10pm and she wasn't sure who'd be coming over this late, sure that if it was her Dad or Brother, they'd have called first. She planned on ignoring it, but after a second knock, and then a third, she pulled herself out of bed, grabbing a hoodie and pulling it over her head as she headed downstairs, not wanting the knocking to wake Rachel. "I don't… Will" Shelby frowned as she saw him stood on the doorstep, a bag in his hand, "what are you doing here?"

Will sighed and ran his hand over his curls, "I didn't mean to wake you, but I erm, I wondered if I could crash on your couch."

Shelby opened the door and stepped to the side, silently inviting him in, not wanting to have this conversation where the neighbours could hear. "I don't know if this is a good idea Will" she sighed, "your Mom…"

"She said some things after you left, some horrible things and I, I lost it, I couldn't bear hearing her talking about you when she barely knows you, when she didn't even make the effort to get to know you, and she, she told me if I wanted to keep seeing you then I wasn't welcome in her house any more."

"Will… what, I…"

Will reached out and gently cupped Shelby's cheek with his palm, "I'm here" he said softly, "I chose you."

"No" Shelby shook her head, "you can't, she's your Mom and…"

"And I'm an adult. You're my girlfriend, and I, fuck Shelby, I love you. I love you and I love Rachel, and I don't expect you to say it back but I do, and I, we might not have known each other long but I, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't see you anymore."

"What about Josh? This is, this is a big decision Will, if you'd rather go home then I understand, I won't… I'd understand."

"Josh loved you, he loved Rachel too, he heard Mom tell me that I had to choose and he came into my room and told me that I better be about to 'get my ass to my girl.' He, we have an uncle, my dad's brother, he lives about 20 minutes away. Mom wouldn't let us see my dad's side of the family after Dad died, but I kept my Uncle's number, we were always close. Mom got drunk after you left, she started smashing things and I, I called my Uncle, he came over and picked Josh up, if you want me to go then he said I'm welcome over there too but I, I wanted to see you."

Shelby reached out, gently running her hand down Will's cheek, "you're sure this is what you want?"

Will dropped his bag and gently wrapped his arms around Shelby's waist, "you are what I want Shelby. I know you might not believe me but it's true. I want to be with you."

"Okay" Shelby stretched up onto tiptoes and brushed her lips against Will's.

"Okay?"

Shelby nodded, "Okay, I'm tired and I, there are a lot of things we need to talk about but not now, can we just go to bed and talk about this in the morning?"

"Of course" Will nodded, tucking a strand of Shelby's hair behind her ear, "I'll speak to the accommodation people at college tomorrow, see if I can get somewhere, or I'll go stay with my Uncle, I just needed to see you, I wanted you to know that I'm sorry, I know you didn't feel ready to meet my Mom and I, I guess I kinda forced you into it."

"It's okay" Shelby shrugged, "I think she'd have taken a dislike to me and my parenting skills no matter when I met her."

"You don't believe her do you? You know everything she said was rubbish, Rachel's your daughter, you and her doctors know what's best for her, not my idiot of a mother."

"Yeah" Shelby wasn't convinced but didn't want to argue, "can we just go to bed now?"

"Yeah, of course we can." Will was surprised when he found himself being led upstairs, Shelby's hand held gently in his own. "What…"

Shelby left Will in the doorway as she walked into the darkened room and flicked on a small side light, Will unable to hold back a smile as he saw Rachel sleeping in the middle of the bed, "you can sleep in here" Shelby told him, "I just need to move the crib."

"I don't want to put you out Shelby, I'll be fine on the couch."

She shook her head, "it's okay, I bought this when she first came home, it's made to attach to the side of the bed, I wanted her in with me but she was so tiny and I was scared I'd hurt her so this seemed like a good compromise, I'll put it back and then let her sleep on the edge, so if she rolls she'll roll into the crib and you don't have to worry about rolling onto her."

"Okay, but only if you're sure that's okay."

"It is" Shelby nodded, "can you help me move it?" she asked once she'd folded away one side of the crib, "she doesn't usually move but I'd rather be safe than sorry."

"Of course" Will helped Shelby move the crib before heading into the bathroom to change as Shelby moved Rachel from her spot in the middle of the bed. She was in bed, hoodie thrown carelessly on the floor, her body curled around her daughter when Will slipped under the covers. "Are you okay?" he asked, letting his arm fall over Shelby's stomach as he kissed at her bare shoulder.

Shelby relaxed slightly as Will became her big spoon, "I've had better days if I'm honest."

"I'm sorry" Will whispered as he began tracing lines on her bare stomach with his fingertips, "she seemed excited to meet you, if I'd have known she was going to act like that I'd never have invited you to meet her."

"I know" Shelby twisted slightly so she could kiss Will's lips, "it wasn't your fault."

"It wasn't yours either" Will said as Shelby got comfortable again, "you did nothing wrong Shelby, and please don't believe anything she said about how you're raising Rachel. You're her Mom, you know what she needs, you know what's best for her."

"I…"

"You're a good Mom Shelby, please don't let her make you think otherwise. Rachel adores you, anyone can see it. She was overwhelmed today, I could see it, even Josh could see it and she turned to you for comfort and you gave it her without even realising it. That girl thinks the world of you and no unnecessary criticism from anyone will change that."

Shelby let her hand rest on Will's, she gently kissed Rachel's hair before quietly asking him, "what did she say about me?"

"Shelby I…"

"Please" she whispered.

Will sighed, "she made some comments about you being…" he thought for a moment, "promiscuous. And she said that you were just looking for someone to raise Rachel for you. But I know that isn't true Shelby" he said quickly, "you and I know that the relationship we have is because I was persistent. If you were just looking for someone to raise Rachel you'd have bitten my hand off the first time I asked, you told me you weren't what I wanted, but you were wrong Shelby, you were so, so wrong."

Shelby rolled onto her back so she could look up at Will, "I wouldn't blame you" she whispered, tears shining in her eyes, "and I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to call it a day."

"I don't" Will wiped at Shelby's cheeks before leaning in to kiss her, "if you want me to go, if you don't want this anymore then of course, I'll respect that, but I made a choice to come and see you tonight, and I did it because I wanted to."

Shelby was about to speak again when Rachel let out a quiet whine, so she quickly lifted her onto her chest, "there should be a pacifier by the light." Will nodded, passing over the pacifier that had fallen from Rachel's mouth not long after she'd fallen asleep, watching as Shelby used it to settle Rachel again, humming quietly to the baby until she was sure she wasn't going to wake. "You know Rachel's the reason I don't see my Mum either" she admitted.

She'd never mentioned her Mom before and Will was a little curious, "do you want to talk about it?"

"I didn't tell my parents" Shelby gently trailed her fingers down Rachel's back, "not until she was home, it was a couple of weeks after her due date and I, I called to say I wouldn't be going over for Christmas, Rachel was still smaller than a 'normal' newborn, she'd literally just come out of hospital, I didn't want to risk anything. My Mom pretty much told her I had to take Rachel over so I just said no and hung up. Then she turned up on boxing day, my Brother knew my address because he'd helped me put some furniture together, and on Boxing day she turned up with my Dad, my Brother, my Sister in law and my nephew. I lost it and shut myself in the kitchen. Dan came in to see what was happening and she'd told them all I'd said it was okay for them to come over. When I told him that Rachel was premature, that I hadn't said any of that he lost it, he pretty much told her that if she didn't leave he'd carry her out. She left and hasn't been in touch since. "

"I'm sorry to hear that" Will said softly, kissing Shelby's cheek, "but it's her loss."

"My dad sent me a text a few days later to apologise. Mom was always, I don't know, self centred, opinionated, stubborn. But Dad usually kept her in check. He was furious about her trying to just push her way in when she knew Rachel was so sick. It took a while but eventually I let my brother and my Dad meet her and My Dad, he said he'd supported Dan when he moved into his own place, when Jake was born and insisted on doing the same for me. Mom found out he was giving me money every month and told him he had to choose me or her. "

"Shelby…"

"As you know, I still see him and him and my Mom are getting divorced."

"I'm so sorry Shelby. None of that could have been easy for you and now with my Mom too" he couldn't stop himself putting his arm around her and holding her close, "I wish I… I had no idea she'd be like that, she seemed excited to meet you both."

"It's not your fault" Shelby whispered, beginning to feel a little tearful again. "I've said right from the start, as long as I've got this one then I'll be okay."

"You've not just got her though" Will wiped at Shelby's tears, "you've got your Dad and your brother, and if you'll have me, you've got me too."

"You can't choose me over your Mom Will, I…"

"I know you're probably never going to believe me Shelby, but you're worth fighting for, and I, I want to be here for you for as long as you want me to be."

"What if it doesn't work out between us?" Shelby whispered, "what if you choose me over her and then it doesn't work?"

"Then at least I know that, at the time when I had to choose, I chose the woman who cared about me and not the woman who wanted me to feel bad about loving someone." He reached up to wipe at Shelby's tears again, "it's been a strange day" he told her, "for both of us, and, I hope you don't mind me saying this but you look exhausted Shelby."

"I am" she whispered.

"Let's get some sleep then" Will kissed her cheek, "we can talk about things when you're not quite so tired."

Shelby nodded, "Rachel will probably be up early."

"That's okay, if there's anything I can do to help, or if you just want me to stay out of your way in the morning, you just have to say."

Shelby smiled and tilted her head to kiss Will's lips before settling down, Rachel against her bare chest, her head on his shoulder, "I'm letting you spend the night in my bed, you can make breakfast for us."

Will laughed and gently combed his fingers through Shelby's hair, "I'm sure I can manage that."


	15. Chapter 15

I was going to update this yesterday but then I got confused and upsated Saviour instead, doh!

I struggled a bit with the middle of this chapter, I wrote the beginning, and the end but I just couldn't get them to join together nicely, so I hope it reads okay. I've already started the next chapter so hopefully that won't be too long!

* * *

When Will woke the next morning he'd rolled away from Shelby, laid on his back on his side of the bed, Shelby on her side with her back to him, her body curled around Rachel's. He could hear Shelby humming under her breath so he rolled onto his side, "morning" he murmured softly, not wanting to startle her.

Shelby couldn't help but smile at the slight hoarseness to Will's voice. "Morning."

"What time is it?" he asked, moving closer and letting his arm drape over Shelby's waist, yawning loudly before kissing her shoulder.

Shelby glanced at the clock by her bed, "almost six."

"Six!" Will hadn't woken this earlier in longer than he cared to remember.

"Mhmm" Shelby hummed, "Rachel's been awake since just after 5. She's been quite settled though. She carefully rolled over to face Will, Will realising that Rachel had been feeding as she let out a quiet squark of protest at being disturbed before quickly settling again as she laid between Shelby and Will, not at all bothered by the fact Will was there, "you can go back to sleep for a while if you want? I can wake you at a more reasonable hour?"

Will shook his head and pushed Shelby's hair from her face so he could kiss her softly, "I don't mind being awake if it means I get to lay here with the two of you."

"I would happily lay here with you all day" Shelby told him, "but I don't know how long she'll want to stay here for, sometimes she'll fall back to sleep when she's done, other times it's like she's had 4 coffees, she has her milk and that's it, she's full of energy."

"Well" Will kissed Shelby again, "let's see how long she lets us stay in bed for."

"That sounds like a plan to me" Shelby smiled, wiping at the corner of Rachel's mouth as she pulled away, "are you done?" she asked as Rachel rolled onto her back.

"Hi" Will gently ran his hand over Rachel's bare stomach, "have you been having some nice cuddles with Mommy?"

Rachel yawned and babbled up at Will before reaching out her hand, Will obliging and letting Rachel's fingers curl around his index and middle finger. Rachel had held Shelby's fingers against her cheek right from the beginning, when she was still confined to her incubator, she'd done her best to curl her tiny fingers around Shelby's, holding it to her cheek until she tired out and fell asleep, Shelby assuming that she found some comfort in the simple action, and it warmed Shelby's heart to know that Rachel felt comfortable enough with Will to seek that comfort from him too.

Will didn't notice Shelby lose herself in her thoughts, his attention was solely on Rachel as he chatted quietly with her, Rachel babbling nonsense in response. "Thank you" Shelby spoke quietly, causing Will to look up at her.

"What for?" he frowned, if anything, he should be the one thanking her.

"For this" Shelby gestured vaguely, "for the fact you're settling my baby back to sleep, for not making a move because I'm topless…"

"Shelby" Will reached out with the hand that had been stroking circles on Rachel's stomach, "I'd never want to make you feel uncomfortable, you're feeding and comforting your daughter. You let me stay here, you didn't have to, you could have let me stay on the couch, you could have sent me back to my Uncle's, the very least I can do is fit in around your routines, and, as for this…" he gestured to Rachel, the baby beginning to lose the fight to keep her eyes open, "I know that the two of you come as a package and I know you'll always put her first and I'm okay with that Shelby, I don't know if you'll ever believe me when I say that but it's true."

"I don't know if I can believe it now" Shelby said honestly, dropping a kiss to Rachel's forehead, "but I think I will, in time."

"That's okay" Will smiled softly, "I've got no plans to go anywhere."

They laid in bed for a while, talking about everything and nothing before Will asked if he could take a shower, reluctantly pulling himself from the bed when Shelby told him he didn't need to ask. "what do you think?" Shelby asked softly, trailing her fingers over her daughter's bare stomach, "you didn't seem bothered by the fact Will was here this morning did you? Would you mind if he was here every morning?" Rachel was still fast asleep so Shelby didn't really expect a reply from her daughter, "yeah" she sighed, "I don't know what to do either."

Shelby was dressed when Will made his way back into the bedroom, she was sat on the bed pulling a pair of leggings onto Rachel, the girl already wearing a tshirt printed with the words, '_Mommy's my BFF_'.

"Is she still asleep?" Will asked as he dropped his pyjamas into his bag and used the towel in his hand to rub at his damp curls.

Shelby nodded, "I don't know what you did to get her to sleep this long but you're going to have to teach me your tricks."

Will shrugged and chuckled, "must be beginners luck" he kissed Shelby's cheek, "ready for breakfast?"

"Yeah" she nodded, lifting Rachel into her arms, "I'll…"

"No you won't" Will interrupted, "I'm making breakfast, we made a deal."

"You don't have to Will, I don't mind making us something."

"I know I don't have to but I want to, so, what do you want?"

Shelby gently woke Rachel as Will made a start on breakfast after promising not to set Shelby's kitchen on fire, the girl didn't seem to mind being woken, and it didn't take long for her to be grinning happily at her Mommy, Shelby chatting to the girl as she carried her downstairs and settled her in her highchair ready to eat her breakfast.

Will did his best to not get in the way of Shelby's routine, he insisted on clearing the table despite Shelby's protests that he'd cooked, and he made sure he was ready to leave when she was, he didn't know how long it took Shelby to drop Rachel off at daycare and he didn't want her to worry about being late for class because of him.

Shelby was quiet on the drive to college, Will could tell she had something on her mind but he didn't push her, just hoped she'd open up to him when she felt ready. He kissed her goodbye once she'd got Rachel out of the car, gently tickling the baby's stomach and telling her he'd see her later before he and Shelby went their separate ways, Shelby to drop Rachel at daycare before her first class, Will heading to the accommodation office, not sure if he'd be able to speak to someone then and there or if he'd need to make an appointment.

Shelby and Will didn't see each other again until the class before lunch, both having separate classes in the morning, "how did it go?" Shelby asked as Will slipped into the seat beside her.

"There's a waiting list for dorms and because I've got somewhere else, I'm not classed as an emergency. I've put my name on the waiting list, I think it's just a case of waiting to see if people drop out or whatever, I don't know but they said they'd let me know. I called my Uncle though, he's going to take me and Josh to get the rest of our things tonight so I'll just go over there afterwards we're done at my Mom's" he smiled.

Shelby found herself barely paying attention to the class, and she briefly hoped Will was taking notes she could copy. She tried to force herself to focus but she couldn't, her mind fixed on one thing, over thinking and over analysing every little detail, making a plan and scrutinising it over and over, trying to weigh up the pros and cons to her idea.

She didn't usually pick Rachel up until the end of the day, preferring to spend the time when she didn't have class in the library working on assignments and rewriting the notes she took to make them easier to study from. She'd arranged to meet Will outside the library after his class finished, but instead of the quiet study area, Shelby headed to the daycare building.

As always she took the time to feed Rachel, humming quietly to her as she sat in the rocking chair, "I know you like to go home and snuggle and have a nap, but you're going to see Pop-pop today" she told her quietly, "just for a little while." Shelby glanced at her watch, she'd text her father at lunchtime asking if he was free to watch Rachel that afternoon and, as always, Jerry had jumped at the chance, so Shelby would be meeting him in the parking lot in just fifteen minutes.

As soon as she saw her grandfather, the girl who usually napped on the way home was suddenly full of energy and Rachel almost threw herself from Shelby's arms. "Hello there little one" he chuckled, taking his granddaughter into his arms. "And hello to you too" he kissed Shelby's cheek.

"Hi" Shelby smiled, "thanks for doing this, I know it's short notice but..."

"Nonsense" Jerry interrupted, "you know I've semi-retired now, and that means more time to spend with my grandbabies, I'll take her anytime. Are you okay though you seemed a little off in your messages?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "I'm okay, I just want to talk to Will about something and she can be quite clingy after daycare so I thought it might be easier and quicker for us if you could take her for a little while. She's literally just been fed so she should be settled for you, she'll probably fall asleep in the car, she usually naps for a while when we get home. I usually join her."

Jerry smiled at the thought of his daughter and granddaughter napping together and shifted Rachel so he had a free arm, reaching out to put his hand on Shelby's arm, "Rachel will be fine Darling, it's you I'm worried about, are you sure you're okay? You and Will, it's nothing bad is it?"

Shelby shook her head, "no, it's nothing bad, I, I don't want to say anything before I've spoken to Will but it's not bad."

"You're not…"

Shelby saw Dad glance at her stomach, "Oh God no!" she said quickly, "I don't, that's not a thing I ever plan on having happen again" she told him before explaining, "something happened between Will and his Mom yesterday and he walked out. He came over and he spent the night with us and I erm, I think I want to talk to him about making it a more permanent arrangement, if that's what he wants."

Jerry nodded and saw his daughter looking at him as if she wanted his approval, "I know you Princess, I know you wouldn't do this if you hadn't thought it through, if you didn't think it was good for you and this little lady."

"I think I'm just going to suggest we try it for a little while first, he's got his name on a waiting list for dorms, and his Uncle said he's welcome there, so he has other options if we decide we're not ready to live together."

"That sounds like a good idea" Jerry nodded, chuckling as Rachel's excitement finally wore out and she snuggled into her Grandpa. "I think I'd better get this one into the car before she falls asleep, do you want to come and check this car seat?"

Shelby nodded, "you didn't have to buy your own though Dad."

He shrugged, "it's easier than having to keep borrowing yours, and I've still got some diapers from the last time I watched her and she's got her toys, we'll be absolutely fine sweetheart."

Jerry led Shelby over to his car, showing her the car seat he'd bought for his granddaughter, similar to the one Shelby had herself. He'd followed all the instructions when installing it, but wanted Shelby to double check it was in securely before putting his precious Grandaughter in it. He watched as Shelby climbed into the back seat of his vehicle, she rocked the car seat from side to side, putting her knee into it when she felt it move, using her body weight to push car seat into place and pulled the slack out of the seat belt until the seat didn't move anymore, "that's okay now, want me to…" she held out her arms and Jerry handed Rachel over, watching as Shelby adjusted the straps around the sleeping infant, "Okay, she's good to go" she kissed Rachel's head and brushed her hair back from her face before slipping from the car.

"Thank you, now, don't worry about Rachel, just let me know when you want her back."

"Okay" Shelby nodded, "Will's Uncle is taking him and his brother to get their stuff later so we shouldn't be too long, maybe just an hour or so ."

"That's okay" Jerry smiled, "she's no trouble, we'll be fine" he kissed her cheek, "honestly, don't worry."

"I'll do my best" Shelby promised, rummaging into her bag and pulling out a couple of pacifiers, "she should be okay but you'd better take these just in case."

She said a final goodbye to Rachel and her Dad before heading back to the library, there were still 30 minutes until Will's class finished and, although she doubted that she'd be able to focus on anything, she could at least try.

"Is everything okay?" Will asked when he saw Shelby walking towards him alone "where's Rachel?" whenever she'd driven him home in the past she'd always picked Rachel up before meeting him.

"I asked my Dad to take her for an hour, I erm, can we talk before you go to your Uncle's?"

"Of course" Will reached out to gently stroke at Shelby's cheek, "is everything okay?"

Shelby nodded and forced a nervous smile, reaching up to link her fingers with his, "let's go home."

There was an awkward silence as Shelby drove back to her house, despite the fact that she'd tried to convince Will she was okay, he'd noticed she seemed a little distant, that she'd been stuck in her head for most of the day and he was almost convinced that the encounter with his Mom meant she was going to break up with him.

"Do you want a drink or anything?" Shelby asked once they were home.

"I'm okay" Will led Shelby over to the couch and forced her to sit down with him, "will you tell me what's on your mind?"

"I erm, I've been thinking and I…" Shelby bit her lip and decided to just jump straight to the point, "do you want to move in here instead of going to your Uncle's?" she asked, "maybe just for a month or so to see how we go, and then we can maybe make it a more permanent thing if it works out?"

"I…" Will had been convinced that Shelby was going to break up with him, so the fact that she'd just offered to let him move in had taken him by surprise.

"But before you make a decision" Shely hadn't finished, "there was something else, it came up when I was talking to my dad and I, I think it's only fair that I'm honest with you now and don't just spring it on you later."

"Honest?" Will frowned, "about what."

"It wouldn't be anything that was an issue now, but if we're serious, if this…" she sighed, "I don't want to have any more children" she told him, "after what happened when Rachel was born, I couldn't risk that happening again, I don't know how likely it would be for me to have another premature baby, but I… if it happened again I don't know if I'd be able to go through that again."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Shelby frowned, "it's not, Will…"

He took her hand and squeezed it gently to get her attention, "if I'm honest, I hadn't really thought about having kids, and if I did see myself having them, it wouldn't be for a while yet, I'd want to have a job and, don't get me wrong, I adore Rachel, but I… I don't know if I'm making any sense, but what we have, you me and Rachel, that's enough for me. And if, in the future we decide we want to have a child together, we can look at adoption or foster care or something."

"You're so young Will..."

"So are you Shelby, and I know things might change in the future, and if they do, then we can talk about it when it comes up. I know we haven't been together long but I love Rachel, I know she isn't my daughter, but I guess, if I'm going to be around, and if you'd let me, I'd help you raise her."

"You, you want to raise her with me?" Shelby seemed surprised.

Will nodded and gently squeezed her hand, "if I'm here, if us living together works out, I'm not going to sit back and let you do everything, I'll get a job, I'll share the bills, the chores, and if you want me to watch Rachel, if you want me to get up with her so you can sleep in, if you just want me to keep her entertained while you make dinner or take a shower, I'll do what you need me to do, I'll even make sure that you and Rachel still get plenty of time alone together, I know how important that is to the both of you."

Shelby reached out, cupping Will's cheek with her hand as she leaned in to kiss him softly, resting her forehead against his as she told him, "I know I couldn't say it last night, but I do love you Will."

He couldn't help but smile, kissing her again, "I love you too."


End file.
